My friends are weird.
This string of IMs is indicative of the sort of conversations I have everyday. No wonder I'm odd.

On Sex with Predators...(continued from comments here)

Where is your sense of adventure?

Adventure does NOT include possibly loosing bits and pieces of one's sex

Not for you, but for someone, I'm sure that's very appealing

3 words: "Female genital mutilation" 'nuff said.

Ahhh. I think you are seriously over-estimating the sharpness of the mandibles.

They still look pretty wicked/pieces-removing-capable regardless of the fact that they're not ultra-pointy

You're just being xenophobic. Alien hater!

And do they even have tongues?

Don't be silly - of course they have tongues. They have a spoken language.

...razor sharp mandibles...

Human teeth are sharp

Not razor sharp, and they're not presented before the lips thus they can be avoided entirely. I'm thinking the mandibles can't be. And they's got beadly little eyes...creepy.

Obviously they manage to make love, and probably orally as well. You are prejudiced. Alien hater.

I'm not an alien hater. They can make love. Just not with my soft, weak flesh.

Whimp. Xenophobe.

You're going to tell me you would let the female of that species go down on you?

If her intent was clear, yes. Just for the novelty of it all.

She could sneeze and accidently disembowel you.

Weak.

How does one recover from that? "Sorry dear, I'm not able to finish you off, since you're lower intestine is currently looped around your dick. Maybe tomorrow night?"

You would miss out on sex with a huge, powerful, 7 and a half foot tall guy who probably has a huge, wonderful wang - all because of irrational tusk fears. Would you be willing if he wore plastic tips on them?

DISEMBOWELMENT. Not my idea of a good time. I'm still not convinced they even have tongues.

You are SERIOUSLY under-estimating the amount of force required to open the human gut.

Sneezes are uncontrollable and quite powerful. You ever had a girl sneeze with your dick in her mouth? The possiblity for amputation exists.

Right - but I have sneezed while going down, and I didn't bite her clit off

That's because the human mouth is more contained than the Yautja's. Those mandibles extend pretty far.

But don't you think they know that a sneeze is coming?

What is the line from Star Trek? "I find human partners to be too...frail." I'm thinking this would be a simliar situation.

it's "...too fragile" actually.

Close enough.

And you notice that Worf fucked several human females anyway. And they loved him. He got more play than Riker towards the end of the series!

I wasn't aware of that, no.

[sigh] Your lack of Star Trek knowledge is appalling. Think of the possibilities - a Pred is bigger than Worf by nearly a foot.

Thus making my case for me...

Weak. I thought you liked them big - Hellboy kind of big.

Hellboy has no fangs, and is half-human.

His right hand is made of FUCKING STONE.

Plus any children that would result would only be 1/4 demon instead of 1/2 Predator. Can you imagine what childbirth would be like?

Weak. Use condoms.

Not weak. Sensible. And do you seriously think they make condoms big enough for Preds?

"Sensible." Oh boy, we are having fun now. That's what I'm looking for - Sensible sex.[yawn]

I'm looking for not-killing-your-dumb-ass kind of sex. Look, if you're wanting danger in your sex life date Laurena Bobbitt. Or fuck a Pred female. Both could end the same...

Oh hell, falling asleep with any woman nearby is dangerous. Besides, female preds don't normally leave the homeworld. The males go out hunting in the first place because the females will only put out for a male who has proven himself... how am I gonna' get any play competing against that?