Papal Time Saver

Excommunication is a handy thing. It's a form of damnation that Popes have used as a punitive measure for centuries. Somebody blasphemes against the Ministry, I excommunicate them. Someone hurts a Flock member - excommunicated. Some asshat takes my parking place - fucking excommunicated, indeed.

Unfortunately, all that damning creates a lot of paperwork. I have clerical BCPs (yes - hot secretarial BCPs... with the glasses, and the hair in a loose bun, and the suits with the tight skirts and the black pumps, rawr...) working 'round the clock to log, file, and stamp all of it in a timely fashion. Depsite the incredible boost to morale this provides, there are better uses for all those valuable (wo)manhours. That's where YOU come in.

You see, I trust you all. You are smart, well-rounded people, and I believe you are ready to take over some of my duties. To that end, I empower you all to damn anyone you feel really deserves it. I've also streamlined the process so there is much less paperwork. Just list who you have damned and why in comments.

Thanks for being such a team player, and thanks to Nerdygirl the Unbeliever for finding the link. See you at the potluck tonight.

By the way - let's all wish WNG a happy bithday over on her blog!


Clayton said...

I damned my self. Cause sometimes I piss me off.

Mayren said...

zThat's one of the best links i've ever seen. Thanks Pope.
By the way - your style of excommunication seems alot like the bit on Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill... He explains that some people percieve Islamic people to have a bloody Jyhad on everyone.
"short change me at the market .. effing Jyhad on them..."

Squid said...

Yay for damning! I damned Ted...for general Assmuppetry.

His Sinfulness said...

I damned myself for blasphemy... and all of you for listening. :)

Benny said...

Well, they be dammed. ;-)

jsurjjg - surfing and doing the jig while drinking coffee.

Levi said...

that's too bad about the slam. oh well. i called luke, cause his was the only laramie number i had, and he didn't get back to me until after 8, at which time the death winds were scything away.

i have yet to damn anyone, but plan on damning my brother's stripper ex-girlfriend

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