Sunday Sermon

(A quick announcement before we get into the meat of the sermon for today - we are still taking entries for the Black Vatican Theme song here.)


There are times in the lives of all the members of our Flock, when the burden of our sins becomes too heavy to bear any longer. We can feel our wrongdoings, almost like a chain around our necks, and the only way to assuage our guilt and begin the long process of healing is to openly admit our transgressions. Only then can we begin to forgive ourselves, and ask others to do the same.

So - in keeping with this season's spirit of renewal and rebirth, I encourage each and every one of you to openly confess... the worst songs on your iPod.

You know what I mean - the songs that you are embarrassed for anyone else to see, but you simply can't bring yourself to delete them. Oh sure; you'll let your friends see your current, ultra-hip playlist, but would you want them poking around in your library?

What really makes these songs horrifying is not just that they are in your library - it's that you listen to them when no one is around to see you. How horrified would you be if you were seen publicly bopping along to New Kids on the Block?

So to get the ball rolling, here are my confessions... these are in my iTunes library, and not only do I listen to them, I have been known to dance like an idiot in my living room to them as well. To the best of my knowledge, Ajax the WonderGrey is the only (living) witness of this behavior.

"Play that Funky Music (White Boy)" - Wild Cherry
"Rock and Roll All Night" - Kiss
"Chocolate Salty Balls" - Chef
"I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" - Corey Hart
"Rock and Roll Part 2" - Gary Glitter
"My Sharona" - The Knack
"I Got You Babe" - Sonny and Cher
"Freshmen" - The Verve Pipe

- and -

Over 100 tracks of They Might Be Giants...

[sigh] I feel better already.

Note: I refuse to apologize for my sizable Adam Ant collection. It's an 80's thing... you youngsters wouldn't understand.


Raksha said...

This is going to be a long list....

1) Both of Tatu's albums.
2) "Dance Dance" by Fallout Boy
3) "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves" by Cher
4) A crapload of songs from China Dolls
5) "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera
6) Several songs by the Dixie Chicks
7) "Making Love in the Chicken Coop" by Danny Collet (it's a zydeco song in Cajun French)
8) Several Kylie Minogue songs.
9) Two songs (if you can call them that) by Majandra Delfino
10) "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado
11) The Newsies soundtrack. Yes, I'm serious.
12) "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls
13) A Rainbow Brite song
14) "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna
15) "This is How We Party" by S.O.A.P.
16) "Supernatural" by Sugababes
17) "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls
18) "I Wanna Be Bad" by Willa Ford
19) The Dark Angel soundtrack

Also, I fucking wish I had Spice Girls on my iPod....

I have just lost whatever cool points I may have had left, haven't I?

Eoin said...

- Gorillaz
- Missy Elliot - Work It

Flynn said...

Ya... about that...

"Dancing Queen" - Abba
Soundtrack from Metal Gear Solid 2


And 3 minutes of silence.
Kevin Rose (ref theBroken & Systm) made an mp3 with 3 minutes of nothing. No sound. Then shared it online to provoke the music industry to solidify it's argument concerning sharing being illegal because of content or file.


All of these were found by sorting my MP3 list by play count.

becca said...

an entire Avril Lavigne album
the grease soundtrack
I will survive- Gloria Gaynor
Supermodel- Jill Sobule
Jack and Diane- John Mellencamp
barbie girl-aqua
several Kelly Clarkson songs
The Rainbow Connection-Kermit the frog
Let's talk about sex- salt n' peppa

P.S. they might be giants are awesome. no shame in that. :)

mist1 said...

I have the Dan Band's versions of Lady and Total Eclipse of the Heart.

I sing along.


Mayren said...

Forgive me Black Pope for I rock out....

1. every Album of Queensryche
known to man and some people who
live in Seattle.
2. She got Skillz - All4One
3. Bon Jovi - Livin on a Prayer
4. Buffy: The Musical
5. Blame it on the Rain - Milli Vanilli
6. Come Undone - Duran Duran
7. All the Things she Said - T.A.T.U
8. Release Me - Wilson Phillips
9. Sprung - T Pain
10. my heart will go on - Celine Dion

Nerdygirl said...

One word: Journey.

MightyMightyM said...

Ryan Cabrera - True
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul
O-ZONE - Dragostea Din Tei (aka Numa Numa Song)
Hawthorne Heights
Venga Boys - Boom Boom I Want You in my Room
Angels & Airwaves - The Adventure
The Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster
Jamie Kennedy & Stu Stone - Circle Circle Dot Dot

Modig_Bjorn said... music.

With that said, although I don't have an ipod or a MP3 player (I'm so not hip like the kiddies these days), I have a confession to make.

I've been known to bust a move to... "She Drives Me Crazy" by the Fine Young Cannibals.

I've just entered myself into a 12-step program.

Raksha said...

From reading other people's stuff, I realized there are apparently still more things on my iPod that I should be ashamed of. I also have:

1) "Barbie Girl" by Aqua (in Dutch)
2) "Supermodel" by Jill Sobule
3) Some Journey songs. Also: Kansas.

Clayton said...

sad collector of yodel songs.
finds old country yodels songs romantic.

Mandy said...

Oh dear. I must confess a rather deepseated affinity with bad music. It's fun. I can dance in my jammies to it. I should really be embarrassed by this list. (These are cds...I'm not cool enough to have an ipod)

1. Hootie and the Blowfish
2. The Ready To Wear soundtrack
3. Justin Timberlake
4. AFI
5. Tatu
6. a dance remix of Don'tcha and Hollerback girl
7. Spice Girls
8. Peter Cetera (the album with the Karate Kid love song on it)
9. Alien Ant Farm
10. more Garth Brooks than I care to acknowledge
11 Forest for the's a brilliant something...
12 Take That (brit boy band)
13 OMC
15. a strange conglomeration of Andrew Lloyd Weber songs titled An Aspect Of. Seriously.
17. Lots of Everclear
18. Sublime
19. Geggy Tah
20. Trick Turner

and a crowning glory, bonus extra...

Tommy Lee

Big Gay Jim said...

Well, my iPod is too new to have scary odd music. However, I have an mp3 folder on my computer that would curl your toes. I "own" many of the songs listed here. And am ashamed by few of them! I'm a freak.

Mark Travis said...

I thought I had nothing to contribute to the confessions, but after a look at my iTunes library I have one word for you all: Yanni.

Yeah. I know.

Levi said...

I have no shame about anything on my devices. However, there are those who mind find it questionable that I have the TMNT concert CD including hits like "Cowabunga" (best rap line ever: "Hey, there's don----a-tello. Every for a turtle........... He's mellow!) and "Walk Straight" and "Tubin'". Others might not appreciate MC Pee Pants doing "I Want Candy," but they can starve and die.

WNG said...

I refuse to be embarassed by the Dixie Chicks OR Journey OR The Dan Band on my iPod so HA!

...i have the Gem and the Holograms theme song in my library...and i listen to it in the car...HELP ME!!!

Big Gay Jim said...

It's showtime, Synergy!

Blonde Ambition said...

I love this topic:

1) "I wanna sex you up" by Color Me Badd

2) "On Bended Knee" by Boyz II Men

3) "Jump" by Kris Kross

4) "No Diggity" by Blackstreet

5) Aladdin soundtrack

6) "Afternoon Delight" by Will Ferrell from Anchorman

7) "Hey Mickey" by ???

Mayren said...

GEM and the Holograms kicked a$$.... i have almost Gig of cartoon theme songs.... not to mention Anime....

*hangs her head in shame*

"Bond..... James Bond Junior .. doo do doooooo"

Flynn said...

I don't have the song.. but Osirus and I were working the Graphic Design lab at about 2am the other night and saw this video...

Today for no good reason, begain to sing... even made the spartain cheer sounds effects...


His Sinfulness said...

The "classic" '80s song "Hey Mickey" was recorded by Toni Basil. I'm a bit ashamed that I knew that without Googling it...

Princess said...

Should I be ashamed? Is this the worst?
Lumberjack song, (not Monty Python) but Jackyl
Ratt- Round and Round
Poison- your moma dont dance and others
Kiss- Beth, lick it up
Bobby Brown
Outkast- Roses

I am so sad

His Sinfulness said...

If you are not familiar with the Jackyl song that Princess mentioned, look it up. Seriously. They use a running chainsaw as a musical instrument. Now THAT'S fucking metal, man...

Mandy said...

*counts the comments* How many until it's an official record for this blog's comments?

His Sinfulness said...

Since we lost all of the old HaloScan comments, I don't know for certain what the record is. We had a Sunday Sermon back on June 18th that got 25 comments, but one commenter deleted all of his comments - so that makes this post the current record holder!

Mischief said...

Should I be concerned that his Sinfulness' list of shame consists almost entirely of songs that I thought still cool? Wow, I'm a nerd... And I had a boyfriend give me a Cake theme song years ago- I think I have you beat!

Supriya said...

grab a drink, a seat and some popcorn. this is going to be long and entertaining-

nsync- tearin' up my heart
98 degrees - invisible man
journey- dont stop believing, when you love a woman, open arms
phil collins- in the air tonight, one more night, against all odds
akon- i wanna f*** you
benny mardones- into the night (if i could fly)
babyface- when can i see you again
alice cooper- only women bleed
bette midler- wind beneath my wings
billy ocean- caribbean queen
blessid union of souls- i believe
crossfade- anything by them
bon jovi- anything by them
brian mcknight- anytime, back at one
def leppard- all of vault and then some
winger- anything by them is just bad
white lion- nuf said
yes- nuf said
white snake- i love them, but they're bad
warrant- anything really
twisted sister- big hair= bad music
touch and go- would you go to bed with me
tom cochrane - life is a highway
toad the wet sprocket- all i want, good intentions etc
better than ezra- good, desperately wanting
gin blossoms- hey jealousy, found about you, 'til i hear it from you
TLC- what about your friends, scrubs
the outfield- i dont wanna lose your love tonight
the federation- i wear my stunna glasses at night
the cult- painted on my heart
the corrs- runaway
swirl 360- hey now now
starship- anything really
silverchair- all albums!
shakira- underneath your clothes, hips done lie
sheryl crow- strong enough
blue oyster cult- anything
scandal- all bad
saving jane- that one song i cant remember the name of
savage garden- truly madly deeply
en vogue- dont let go
salt n pepa- what a man
SWV- that one song i cant remember the name of
color me badd- i wanna sex you up, time and chance, choose, i think i have the whole album somewhere
ronan keating- life is a rollercoaster, picture of you
richard marx- angelia, chains around my heart, keep coming back, right here waiting
mc hammer- you cant touch this- superfreak remix
ratt- anything
r kelly- ignition, i believe

yeah i think i need to stop now.
please note that i will not apologize for my bad music, and i will spread it to anyone who exhibits even the least amount of interest.

Supriya said...

LFO- Girl on TV
The Heights- How do you talk to an angel?
Duncan Sheikh- Barely Breathing

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