Fuck, I Hate this Place

I have lived in the Siberia of the Americas (Laramie, WY) since September 2002, so I have now seen 5 spring finals weeks go by. Each year, those finals are accompanied by snow.

I know that the idea of snow in May seems odd to many of you, but it is a regular thing here. In fact, while I have been here, we have had snow in June and August as well, and some of the locals have told me of the 4th of July when it snowed.


I need to move somewhere else. Some other university town with a decent grad school, good weather, reasonable cost of living, pretty undergrads...

To this end I am asking all of you, the CyberFaithful, to help us pick a new home for the Black Vatican. Nominate your favorite college town, and briefly explain why His Sinfulness should move his dysfunctional little family there. The winner will get a certificate of beatification (suitable for framing) and bragging rights. If you nominate your town, I might come be your neighbor!

10 comments:

inkandpen said...

I'm in Ithaca, NY. Don't come here-- it's not as bad as Laramie for snow, but quite close. Before I was here, I was in Eugene OR. Go there. Amazing community, mecca of bike lanes, very pretty undergrads who bloom like flowers on the lawns each spring.

Levi said...

didn't you make this post last year? i think you will always return to laramie like an abused spouse, because deep down you think "laramie really does love you!" no matter how many times you "fall down the stairs."

that said, you should move to Minneapolis MN not for the weather, but rather, for the proximity to Canada.

Dr. Smith said...

I believe you should go to Vanuatu. If my calculations are correct it is the farthest away from benedict that you can get

Mayren said...

i'm not there now but i used to live in Texas... Anywhere around Fort Worth and Dallas are good. If you have to then choose a differe nt city... Texas has a bunch of great College towns since it is the 2nd largest state in the Union. Texas has a great low-cost of living while still being as technilogically advanced as Silicon Valley. Seriously it's true! Texas also has no state tax so if you get a pay check you only pay regular federal taxes.

Just saying...

Flynn said...

Why fight it, you know you want to move to Canada.
I suggest KW, nice college town. And oh yeah, it's in Canada.

Modig_Bjorn said...

I think Levi has a point Linus. ;)

I find it interesting how some people are really sensitive to the weather or their environments and others just aren't. Of course, being born and raised in California makes one a sissy when it comes to cold weather, so you have my sympathies.

His Sinfulness said...

Well, I was born in North Carolina, and although I spent my teen years in California, I have actually spent more years of my life in frozen wastelands than in the sunbelt.

I lived in Michigan for 18 months, Iowa for over over 5 years, Nebraska for 3 years, 14 dreadful months in Cheyenne, 6 years in Colorado, and now 5 years in Laramie. That's over 21 years on the tundra, as compared to just 8 years in Cali.

Nor is my upbringing to blame - North Carolina is famous for having a wide range of miserable weather, ranging from sleet, snow, and ice storms to equatorial heat and humidity with bugs big enough carry off small dogs.

No, it is just that I'd like to live in a place where the outdoors isn't actively trying to kill you for most of the year. The human body is most efficient when nearly naked, crouched in the weeds on the edges of the savanna. I am simply answering that evolutionary mandate.

becca said...

I think that I have mixed opinion on this because although I love my city and would love to have his sinfulness living here. . . we had 61 days of snow on the ground this winter (missing the record of 63 days by two days!). Come to think of it, maybe it's time for me to move. . . if I get into the Peace Corps, maybe I'll end up in some wonderfully tropical place . . . but I'll probably end up in a cold former Soviet republic like the Ukraine. I guess I should enjoy the Colorado sunshine while I have the chance.

Move to Costa Rica- my cousin has a farm there and I hear it's lovely.

miss kt said...

i think oxford is the way forward - the weather never gets too cold, its one of the oldest universities in the world and there will be plenty of pretentious academics to destroy verbally, also almost all of the city center is pedestrianized so bikes are one of the main forms of transport, the more classic the better! lots of girls with English (as in similar to mine as well as the rest!)/Irish/Scottish/Welsh and other European accents as well - sounds like heaven for you!

His Sinfulness said...

Oxford - great idea!

Unfortunately, the closest I am likely to get is wearing Oxford shoes...

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