Why there was no Sunday Sermon...

I tried to work on my sermon, but I was so upset over the Deutero-Isaiah -vs- Proto-Isaiah controversy that I couldn't concentrate. (The Deutero-Isaiah theory claims that there were three individual authors, whose works were later compiled together under the name of the the Proto-Isaiah, the “real” Old Testament prophet.
(No? OK, how about this one;)

I was working on my Gaelic grammar and I lost all track of time...
(OK, I admit that one is far fetched. How about;)

I suffer from accute Inopia Celeritatis, a mild dyslexia that makes it impossible for me to be on time.
(You're not buying that one either...hmm;)

Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est?
(That one is only good if you speak Latin. Maybe this will work;)

Yo soy el pollo diablo!
(True, but not a good excuse...)

All right; the truth is, I was green with envy over Aubrey's new trike; I simply couldn't write. I have been searching for a way to out-nerd her ever since she got it.

There, I admitted it. I need to go lay down now.