I have a few things to add to the Basic Rules for Life (See March 1st if you missed the original list...)

7) After eating baklava, make sure to wash your hands thoroughly, especially before touching your wedding tackle.
I thought I had licked all the sticky stuff off my fingers, but I soon discovered otherwise when I got to the urinal. (It did impart a nice honey and orange smell to that area though...)

8) No ironing in the nude.
Sharply pressed kilt with crips pleats - Good.
Edge of hot iron touching bare furry tummy - BAD.

9) Do not attend 'Drag Queen Bingo' dressed in a red snakeskin kilt.
I'm not speaking from experience here, but let's face it - this one's a no-brainer. (I hope Mandy and Jim had fun tonight though...)