Argot, Discourse, Locution, Parlance, Patoi...
[Set Rant Filter to Medium]

I love the English language. Though I am not fluent in any other languages, I have been assured by those who are, that English is just about the most maleable language on the planet. It gives rise to great poetry, prose, and drama certainly, but its flexibility is unilateral; it supports politics, advertising, and the indecipherable babble of lawyers just as well.

Normally, I revel in the elastic quality of my language, but today I am just sick of it. I'd gladly trade it all in for a dull, inflexible language - perhaps Esperanto, or something in a Klingon dialect. Something where you can say what you mean and it only means that. Not the mealy-mouthed indecision of English. Not the kind of language that allows old friends to misunderstand each other for years on end. Not a language that can make enemies of comrades in a matter of a few misheard sentences. I'm sick to fucking death of all the palaverous prevarications and pleonastic pontifications - the flattulent forswearances, the magniloquent mendacity, the orotund obloquy, the turgid terminological inexactitude, the grandiloquent guile...

What I want is straightforward; no redaction, no spin, no vetting, no parsing, no blue-penciling, no scrutination, no emendation - just the simple flow of ideas. Actually, now that I think of it, even that sounds like a pain in the ass.

I'm tired of trying to communicate any higher thoughts. Yes, you read that right; I, the Reverend Linus, "He who never shuts up," am tired of talking. I think I'm going to just grunt and point for a while...

(Disclaimer: No Thesauri were harmed in the posting of this rant.)

(Warning: If anyone comments with a correction of my spelling, grammar, or syntax, I'll break my foot off in their ass.)

Peace favor your sword.


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