Bio Science Flambe

So around 8:45 PM I get a text from my boss, Big Gay Jim, that says, "Call me about your shift tonight. Emergency."

Naturally, I panic. I figure that my nemesis, Benedict XVI, has finally figured out that my underground lair is in Laramie, and he's mobilized the St. Laurence O'Toole branch of the Inquisition to strike. I was just about to press the red button that activates Raksha and the G.I. Janes to defend the Black Vatican when it hits me; there's no way that Ratzinger knows my whereabouts - I'm too sneaky. In fact, I am Ten Ninjas.

Safe in that knowledge, I call Jim. Turns out that the Bio Science building (where I work) is on fire. Literally.

These photos were snapped by the brother of a classmate of a friend of the roommate of a guy that one of the cyberfaithful is sleeping with - I think his name is Dave...

As of 3:00 AM, the building was still off limits (no worries - I'm typing this from the auxillary bridge). While I'm not entirely ruling out the possibility that this was a poorly executed strike by VFNs (Vatican Fire Ninjas), I am pretty certain that investigators will find that it was actually caused by test anxiety. I imagine that some poor fratboy was studying in the lab when it hit him that partying for 12 weeks of a 14 week semester might result in suboptimal test performance - the stress resulting from thinking about telling his folks he failed Biology caused him to burst into flames. I bet the alcohol in his bloodstream made him go up like Chinese New Year...

Regardless of the cause, I'm putting the BCPs on alert and advising all reserve G.I. Janes to keep their armor-plated bras handy, just to be on the safe side...

(Darn fire buried the pretty anime girl post below...)