Unsurprising Poll Results

This week's poll - Do you believe in Intelligent Design? - got a lot of responses, and the outcome was gratifying. It confirmed what I have always wanted to believe about the Flock - that you're not stupid.

The results are below:
-Of course - He stretched out His noodly appendage... (12%)
-Of course - Our Pink Lady created everything with her blessed hooves (may they never be shod) in 2 1/2 weeks... (12%)
-Of course - and all shall continue as planned until Ragnarok plunges the world into the waters, and it is cleansed. (4%)
-Of course - and you'll all be sent to hell by our loving and benevolent creator if you don't join me in this belief. Heretics. (8%)
-No - would an intelligent designer create a species in which sex drive peaks for the males at 18-20, and for the females at 30-32? (64%)

A whopping 64% of you realize that intelligent design, isn't. Another 24% selected atheist/religious parody answers, which brings our group condemnation of creation myths to a solid 88%! I thank you for standing up for your beliefs - a posture which gave our ancestors a competitive edge on the dangerous savanna's of the distant past. Let's hear it for bipedalism, and all the other benefits of evolution!

As for the one vote for Ragnarok, we all know that was Raksha. Raksha honey, I hope you're right (it would make her so happy to see the world drowned...).

Ok, and you guys who picked the Abrahamic answer, knock it off and quit being silly right this instant. Don't make me pull this blog over, you two...

If you'd like to explain your answer, feel free to do so in comments.

On to our next exciting poll: The best way to solve the economic crisis is...?

8 comments:

Cerus said...

What!? This poll is bull. We all know that aliens created humans and that sensuality one of the key aspects of this artificial existence created for us. For the great Rael has told us so.

Raksha said...

It would not make me happy to see the world drown! Just think of all those poor, sweet little animals that would die! But if you want to get all metaphorical, we're already drowning in our own greed, violence, carelessness, and faithlessness, so Ragnarok is already upon us. Unleash Fenrir and party like there's no tomorrow!

Linus said...

Cerus,

You're absolutely right - I've offended Raelians all over the globe. More importantly, I've offended the great beings who seeded this planet. I think they should come and take me to their home world for reeducation... (that way I wouldn't have to work on stats this week).

Linus said...

Raksha,

Sounds like a good time! One thing though... is Fenrir house-broken?

Regis said...

Yeah, this poll wasn't biased in the least: joke answer, joke answer, joke answer, I disagree and I'm an asshole AND an idiot for it, or I agree and I'm oh-so-clever for it.

I'll raise my hand as one of the "silly Abrahamics" as it was the closest thing to my opinion - and I'm pretty sure it isn't your beliefs in how it all came to be that determine your afterlife.

But "Werewolves of London" is on Pandora and I don't feel like picking a fight right now. Maybe just try to be a bit more, ah, constructive in the future?

Linus said...

Regis,

This was not intended to be constructive - this was plain old making fun of intelligent design. If you wish to align yourself with that kind of "science," feel free, but expect to be ridiculed for it.

Also - the third answer wasn't a joke. There are plenty of folks who consider Odin and his cronies to be the real deal. I think their version of creation makes just about as much sense as Intelligent Design, but at least they have the decency to keep it out of the public schools.

Raksha said...

Yeah, "joke answer" my Pagan ass! At least we don't take our myths literally. If we did, though, I do think a good case could be made for Wyoming being Ymir's anus. Or his armpit, at the very least.

Fun fact: Did you know that the World Tree is located somewhere in Virginia? TRUFAX. American Gods says it, I believe it, that settles it!


And apropo of nothing, I give you the ugliest Godsdamn pair of pants I have ever seen. SO TACKY. SO SKANKY.

Raksha said...

Er, that should be "apropos of nothing". I should just go to bed now.

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