Which is Scarier?

Don't think too deeply. Just give your gut reaction. The boys down in Marketing tell me that this is a crucial survey - the results of this will guide Black Vatican ad campaigns for the next year.

Which is scarier?

This...

or this?



Gas mask ninja with gun vs. ex-nazi inquisitor lich-in-the-making... tough call.

This...

or this?



How exactly a Hacidic martial art is related to a disembodied testicle in an egg cozy is a mystery to me, but they said it was important to determine our "target demographic."

This...

or this?



Both are clearly terrifying and likely to dry hump you, but at least the 40 pound rabbit won't try to slip roofies in your drink.

This...

or this?



Obviously the answer here is "both".

And finally,
This...

or this...



Dead rat or emo kid...ick. You could easily catch something from either.

Thank you for participating; please post your choices in the comments window. The best/wittiest commentors will receive an official limited beatification* from the Black Vatican!

* Some restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Offer void where prohibited. Data and information gathered for informational purposes only; please, no wagering. The Black Pope, his employees, lackeys, minions, yes men, and subjugates are not responsible for any injury or loss of life that may occur while reading this post. In fact, we're not responsible for anything. Ever. The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

14 comments:

Modig_Bjorn said...

I won't be particpating in the competition, but I'm just laughing my ass off do to the fact that I at one time in my childhood owned both of those Chuck Norris toys, along with his Red Ninja antagonist. Nice post!

.... and the Pope seriously looks like a member of the undead.... seriously!

His Sinfulness said...

If you comment, you are automatically entered in the competition (EVERYbody plays my game!) so two points for owning the Chucky figs.

Clayton said...

ninja,nut,Norris,nibbler,narcissist.
Because alliteration kills.

Clayton said...

oops, I see I have norris and the rabit out of order. Still

Clayton said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
His Sinfulness said...

5 points! Clay scores big, but it looks like there's a flag on the play...
[Ref turns on his mic]
"UnFlocksmanlike conduct - illegal use of poetic devices - 15 yard penalty. Penalty declined due to humor value - the points stand. First down!"

His Sinfulness said...

I was fixing it... I hate typos, and I had more info to add.

Drew said...

Ex-Nazi: He could totally use that staff to kill the ninja, and I think he started the fire behind the ninja.
JewFu: Who knows where your balls might end up.
Rabbit: WTF is in their water. Are all the people in the town mutants?
Both: but more scared of the lumber jack Chuck Norris, I want to believe the future Norris has cool weapons.
Rat: He might know the mole people. Scary!

His Sinfulness said...

Drew scores a field goal by explaining the nebulous JewFu/Testicle connection, one for rationalizing fears of the lichpope, one for a choice mole people reference, and one for each Norris... but he loses a point for overlooking the obvious danger of rave hair. Total score - 5 points!

Clayton said...

I looked up ratzenber in the wiki, and he doesn't seem like a bad fella, actually.
btw, Linus, I ammended the entry you commented on.

Dr. Smith said...

The little birdy is by far the scarriest of them all.

Mark Travis said...

1) RATzinger is more than scary!

2) the Man Egg is just disturbing and wrong? EWWWWW!

3) Boy band wannabe's are a special sort of frightening.

4) I actaul owned the second Norris doll, and the enemy that Brendon speaks of, so I pick the first Chuck fig, because it is different, foreign and thus, scary (I fear change!)

5) the Guy holding the rat, not the rat itself, because the guy looks like he wants to eat the rat... and that's just wrong.

Kingbogart said...

Ex-Nazi - How many A.D.D children do you think he got with a shiny object like that

Ninja - Crouching tiger hidden payot

Boy Band - Clean cut, waxed brows, duck on head and roofies... uh oh

Hunting chuck - Chuck doesn't go hunting, Chuck goes killing.

Rat boy - Cause he's more buck toothed than the rat is. Like an inbred farm hick...y'all

His Sinfulness said...

I give up on judging them - limited beatifications for everyone!

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