The Interview Game

You can still enter the Special Lightning Bonus Round of the Caption Contest by clicking here, slacker...

Here are The Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Questions from Jac

1) What is your ultimate Post Modern Cocktail?
Muddle crushed ice with oleander leaves in a tall glass. Add equal parts disillusionment, absinthe, and bile, poured through a Republican's linen handkerchief drenched in the tears of my generation. Serve with a jaunty umbrella, handmade in an Asian sweat shop.

2) Where would you go after you die?
Well, after the obligatory stop at Disneyland, I'll probably head up to heaven. I've got a bone to pick with the management.

3) What should one do to become a member of your Flock?
Pledge your belief. In anything. God(s) would be nice, but Santa Clause, Tinkerbell, or UFO anal probes will do in a pinch. Then send two box tops and 11 cents in pre-1990 pennies to:

Operation Lost Sheep
1 Sinful Place
Black Vatican City, WY 66666-6666

You'll receive our secret decoder ring, a pamphlet entitled "So you've Joined a Cult...", and a certificate suitable for framing.

4) Define "nir".
The nir is a small, four-footed, mammal indigenous to the Northwestern Continental states. It is a voracious inscetivore, living mainly on the larval forms of insects like grasshoppers, beetles, and republicans. We are seriously considering importing them to Wyoming for pest control.

5) State the main Philosophy of your dark religion.
"Pants are a plot from the Man, trying to keep Celty down! Fight the power!"
Actually, the Flock is about faith. ANY faith. For fuck's sake, believe in something!