Instead of a Sermon...

...we can all play the Black Vatican's newest game, Suggest a Town!

I have moved around quite a bit in my life. I've lived in North Carolina, Michigan, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Colorado, and California. I am headed toward another move now, but this time, it's different.

This time, I have no pressing reason to move except that I'm done with Laramie. I have finished my degree, and I'm completely through with living in the frozen wasteland that is Wyoming. I want to move to a warmer place where I can continue my studies, and maybe fly my kites again... and that is the problem.

Prior to this, my moving has always been for three reasons - family, friends, or work. I moved to Iowa to be with a woman (we were engaged). I moved to Nebraska to be on the Patrol. I moved to Cheyenne to hang with SCA friends, then I moved to Fort Collins to hang with other SCA friends. I went to California to go to school, but it was really to reconnect with family. I came back to Wyoming to be with a woman (you'd think I'd learn...).

And now I must move again, but none of those reasons apply. I have not been accepted to a grad school yet, I don't have any great job prospects, and I don't know a soul in the places to which I am considering moving.

For months I have been surfing the web, looking at grad programs. Nothing has really leapt out at me except Baylor, and I now have reservations about that (I was really underwhelmed by their shoddy admissions process).

So this is your opportunity to have input on the new location of the Black Vatican. To be considered, a place has to meet the following standards:

1) Graduate School
The place must have a decent graduate school which offers a program in something I'm interested in, like Sociology of Religion, Interdisciplinary Studies, Creative Writing, Pop Culture, Film, World Domination, Harem Management, etc.

2) Population
The place must be at least as big as Fort Collins - let's call that a population of 100,000+. Anywhere smaller than that will just frustrate me with its lack of amenities. To be happy, I need to be able to shop without having to drive to a nearby "real" city.

3) Climate
This is a twofold standard; the place must be both Warm and Cool.

By Warm, I mean that it must have a finite winter that lasts no more than 3-4 months. I will not consider any place that has significant snowfall (like 36 inches in one day, or 6 inches in June; DAMN I hate Wyoming), nor will I look at a place that has high winds for a significant portion of the year. Ideally, the ocean isn't too far away to go there on a Saturday and fly kites.

By Cool, I mean I will not consider living in a place dominated by conservatives again. Iowa, Nebraska, and Wyoming have taught me that Republicans and Fundies do not make good neighbors.

4) Temple
The place must have a Buddhist community. I miss my morning meditations at the little Zendo in Fort Collins, and I want to get moving on that path again (this standard will probably be met by just about any town that meets number 2).

You can submit your suggestions in the comment window, or you can write them on the back of a $20 bill and send them to "Where in the World is Linus Furious?", c/o The Black Vatican. The winner will receive a limited beatification with a certificate suitable for framing, and serve as the vent for my frustrations once I have moved to the place you suggested...

Go in Peace.

12 comments:

Mark Travis said...

This would make a great game show.... i can hear the canned music now.

Sadly, I have no suggestions for re-location.... I, myself, might be spending quite a lot of time out in the middle of no-where-Nevada.

I found out the mountain's name though, McAfee Peak in the Independence Range (Elko County, NV)

Anyway, good luck on the hunt for your new spot.

Clayton said...

The hills have eyes over there, Mark.

Linus, go portland.

Levi said...

Go to Hell, Linus.

By Hell, I mean Austin TX.

Evydense said...

Ever given ant thought to Canadian Universities?

Modig_Bjorn said...

Hmm, what's the liberal/conservative ratio in Austin? That might not fit criteria item #3.

Have you thought of Boulder, CO? I'm not sure if it's population is 100,000, but there is plenty of shopping.

His Sinfulness said...

Thanks for your input. Here are my thoughts;

The Pacific Northwest is definitely under consideration...

Texas is also under consideration. Austin, Dallas, and Waco are all possibilities.

Canada does not meet my climate requirement. Snow sucks.

Boulder is a cool place and CU is a fine school, but the cost of living is quite high and still too much snow.

Anyone else got any ideas?

Nerdygirl said...

Clay--Portland's economy is shite right now, if not for that I would have recommended it myself.

Modig--Austin is supposed to be the liberal bastion of Texas. At least, that's what my friends there say. I don't know about the wind though...

His Sinfulness said...

I suppose Clay could have meant Portland, Maine. Or the various Portlands found in Tennesee, Texas, Connecticut, or Michigan...

sticky wicket said...

I second any recommendation for Portland, OR. It's the US' most sustainable city, ya know. And rocks; so many quirky folks creating the changes they want to see in the world - inspiring.

mehitabel said...

You know, I'll vote for Portland (Oregon) too . . although Seattle is lovely as well . . .

Evydense said...

Just to dispel a wee myth....Canada ain't all snow all the time, y'know!

His Sinfulness said...

There are nice places in Canada, I know, but I really want to get away from the cold. Anyplace with more than about 25 to 30 inches of annual snowfall is out of the question for me right now. I need to be outside a lot more than I have been for the last few years...

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