I support Michael Phelps...

... in his decision to get high.

In case you haven't heard, the Fish that Walks got in trouble for taking a few bong hits at a party.

Um... so what? Yes, it's illegal and all that bullshit, but he's 23 years old and in college. Is ANYone surprised that he goes to a party now and again? "Let him that is without bong hits throw the first roach." (I think Jesus said that...)

Apparently, the USOC was surprised. Listen to this sanctimonious shite;

"We are disappointed in the behavior recently exhibited by Michael Phelps. Michael is a role model, and he is well aware of the responsibilities and accountability that come with setting a positive example for others, particularly young people. In this instance, regrettably, he failed to fulfill those responsibilities. Michael has acknowledged that he made a mistake and apologized for his actions. We are confident that, going forward, Michael will consistently set the type of example we all expect from a great Olympic champion."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only real responsibility Michael Phelps has to the USOC is to swim really fucking fast. He's done that. More times than any other man in the history of competitive swimming. He's lived like a monk for 8 years - I think he should be allowed to relax a bit. Hell, I think he should be allowed to snort coke off Nastia Luken's gold medal buttocks if he wishes...

USA Swimming, the sport's national governing body, also weighed in:
"We are certainly disappointed in Michael's behavior. That said, we realize that none among us is perfect. We hope that Michael can learn from this incident and move forward in a positive way."

They're not disappointed, of course, that he won an asston of medals and made swimming cool again... fucking wankers.

As you can tell, I'm pissed about this. Leave the guy alone - he's earned a fucking bong hit or two if he wishes. In fact, I'll say right here in front of Gawd and teh Intertubez, that I will get high with Michael Phelps anytime he wants. I'll come out of retirement and put up the black light posters for that! Just stop by the Black Vatican, Mike - we'll hook you up. Oh, and some of the BCPs would like to um... "congratulate" you, if you follow me...

4 comments:

WNG said...

Oh, so you won't come out of retirement for Mama G, but for a Gold Medalist...

Seriously - wait sorry, it's hard for me to take this seriously. How is this a big deal? Everyone just needs to calm down and leave the kid alone.

Hmm...what could help everyone calm down?

Teh Dr. said...

I believe you lost me after the snort coke off Nastia's ass bit, I drifted off to tome interesting places.

Mayren said...

I second your motion. Leave the kid alone. geez. It's like that song is coming to haunt him by Blink 182 "nobody likes you when your 23..."

His Sinfulness said...

I think he's been remarkably circumspect, honestly. Can you imagine the excesses *I* would have perpetrated if I had won 8 gold medals and was the darling of the sports world? I'm sure I would be doing time by now...

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