Heretical Admission

I spent the majority of yesterday in the car, ferrying one of the inmates of Flock Hall 2.0 back to her student teaching assignment, some 200 miles from Black Vatican City. We had only been on the road for a few moments when a text message arrived, notifying us that the Super Bowl was about to start.

I not only didn't know that yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, I also had no idea who was playing. Although my interest in professional sports has been waning for a decade or more, this is probably the first time since I was 4 or 5 that an entire NFL season has passed without me watching a single game. Or a portion of a game. Or a single snap. Not even a highlights reel, all season. More shocking than that, I found that even with prolonged introspection, I couldn't seem to care. I didn't even care about not going to a Super Bowl Party - the food is never vegan, I don't like beer, I've seen Bruce Springsteen live, and the commercials are all available on the internet. One of the FEMALE passengers in the car advised me that it was the Cardinals and the Steelers.

I pulled off at the next rest area to check if my penis was still there.

I seem to have lost interest in the one thing that the vast majority of American men have in common. I have always said there is nothing more boring than a fight I'm not in, thus I can't understand the fascination other men have for football, or any professional sport, really. While I understand the beauty of watching people who are the best at what they do, I can't understand the amount of time and money it consumes in this country. I know men who live for football, and it frankly seems a pale life to me - heresy, I know.

I am simply going to have to come to grips with the reality that the religion of my youth, the religion of most of my brethren, the religion that gave me a minor neck problem that still flares up on occasion, has become anathema to me. I have become a non-believer. Shun me if you must.

(By the way, Francis is fine - thanks for your concern.)


Teh Dr. said...

I too discovered it was superbowl day, on the day. I propose we come up with a truly worth while event to gather round and have hummus and vegan flat bread snacks while cheering wildly. Although it may be worth our while to watch the superbowl commercials on youtube since our choice might not have as entertaining sponsors.

Cerus said...

I found out it was the Super Bowl when one of my roommates wanted to watch it. So I played on my computer, reading news and deciding what I needed to do for the next week. I looked up for the commercials, but they sucked this year. Commercialism isn't as entertaining when companies are afraid to spend a shit ton of money.

fleur said...

Just because I am a FEMALE doesn't mean I am incapable of knowing anything about sports, nor does it make me less of a girly-girl that I knew who was expected to win, when the last time they has been to a championship or a Superbowl, and who was playing at half-time.

But in the interest of full disclosure, I knew because I study pop culture, not because I follow football.

For those who like some intelligence in their sports, the first spring training game is Feb. 25...

His Sinfulness said...

For the uninitated, Miss fleur is referring to spring training for baseball... which I also can't seem to care about. :/

Professor Noob said...

I refuse to shun you for a "sin" that is inherent within my own nature.

WNG said...

I am definitely female and I love football. It's vicarious and non lethal (usually) war to me. It's also the only team sport I can watch on TV without falling asleep. BUT I'll forgive you...because I always forgive you :-)

His Sinfulness said...

Thanks, WNG. You are so generous - absolution is so hard to come by these days.

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