Tennis


Yeah, if only it looked like that when we play...

Flynn and I hit the tennis courts this past weekend, and I assure you there were no 200+mph serves or diving forehands. Thankfully, we both left our skin-tight bodysuits at home as well (nobody wants to see that).

As I recall it, I was 10 the last time I set foot on a tennis court, and I got destroyed by a girl in straight sets. This weekend was like a 33 year trip back in time...

The girl in question, Maggie (of Magball fame), is a bonafide tennis player from way back, and she was very kind to us. She was understanding of our lack of control, and she patiently hit gentle forehands to us for about 90 minutes. She is actually attending a tennis clinic this week - I hope she meets some nice people to play with so she doesn't have to suffer all summer with just us as opponents.

Turns out that successfully playing badminton, squash, and racquetball has absolutely nothing to do with playing tennis. My first attempt at a proper forehand went over the 12 foot fence behind my opponent, and my first backhand ended up on the court to our left (the father and daughter playing there were very nice about kicking our balls back to us...). Flynn was nearly as pathetic, and overall we stunk up the place.

It's kind of odd for me - I am not the fittest person in the world, but I am almost unnaturally coordinated. I acquired skills like juggling and riding a unicycle very rapidly, and most racquet sports come to me quite easily, but tennis makes me look like I suffer from some sort of spastic nerve disorder. Naturally, I won't allow my dismal lack of demonstrated aptitude for this game deter me - after all, if you let one (or many) bad experience(s) stop you from trying something again you'd have to give up and be celibate. Am I right, ladies?

No, I will keep on playing once a week for the summer if I can find patient opponents who will tolerate my flailing. Regardless of how badly I play, it is still an opportunity to absorb vitamin D, a nutrient that we residents of Black Vatican City (the Siberia of the Americas) are known to lack. It is also an opportunity for the ladies of the Flock to wear tennis dresses. Just putting that out there.

4 comments:

Flynn said...

see man, I told you we needed power suits before we started playing...

I'm going to play it a few more times to be fair to the sport, by Tennis has never been my favorite. We'll see how it goes...

Mayren said...

lolz. if the girls do donn their tennis skirts for you it would be cute.

It's also nice to hear that there is an actual raquet sport out therer that eludes you a bit in the beginning. It's like we the masses could possible attain a minor greatness to your own.... Almost. I know by the end of the summer you will be wailing the volleys back and forth. Such is greatness.

*hug*

His Sinfulness said...

Thanks Mayren, but I don't think I accurately conveyed the crappiness of my tennis. It's almost like gravity has a special hate-on for me.

Stoopid gravity - always holding me down...

Desolate Anxiety said...

well you know there is that gravity button I was telling you about the other day. Did you forget about it? You broke it didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!!!

lol anyways I think you definately will be adding this to your sports list. :)

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