Maggie, Mother of Invention

As you all know, I love handball. The only thing that could improve handball (they do call it "the perfect game") would be to make it less of a sausage fest. Vanilla Fresh, Flynn, and Doktor Smith are all attractive in their own sweaty, hairy way, but I'd really like to spend more time in the presence of attractive, lycra-clad women. Alas, my attempts to convert the ladies of the Flock to handball have mostly fallen short. This is due, in part, to the nature of the game. Unlike badminton, where coed play works nicely, handball just doesn't lend itself to mixed doubles very well, and even less to singles competition between the sexes. The ball is small and very dense so it can be painful to hit, and it takes considerable strength to make a good shot that hits the front wall the way you want it to. It is telling that in competitive handball there is no mixed doubles category - it just doesn't work.

I was talking with one of the more competitive females in the Flock (Maggie), and she was advocating for racquetball. She argued that it didn't hurt like handball, and that the racquet gave her, a small person (5'4"), the ability to hit with sufficient power to be competitive.

Now, I was an avid racquetball player at one time. I suffered from a wicked case of tennis elbow because of it until I saw the light and gave up that tool of the devil, the racquet. I have since been heard to ridicule racquetball as a "game fit only for little girls and children," but it occurred to me that we might be able to level the playing field by taking the racquet away from the larger, stronger player. We discussed it, and Maggs agreed to give it a try.

It was a resounding success. We used a racquetball and played to 15 as is the custom of that game. Maggie used her racquet, and I went in armed with only "my mitts," as Marv would say. Although I lost all three games, it was an excellent workout, and the scores were close enough to indicate that with due diligence I could possibly win in the future - which is exactly the type of situation that motivates me the most.

Since then, I have identified only two problems with our new invention:
- The woeful lack of lycra in Maggie's wardrobe
- It needs a name

If you have a name idea for our fabulous new game - something that conveys its hybrid nature - let us know! We'll give you naming credit when we become famous...

15 comments:

Big Gay Jim said...

Co-ed blueballs?
Ha-rac-a-ball?
David vs. Goliath?
That game for whiny short people? (love you, Mags!)

Levi said...

Tranny Ball

with the utmost respect and sincerity.

Stephanie said...

Chin-ball (um or is that nut chin?)
Range-ball
Unladen ball
Flush
Square ball
Metriball

Big Gay Jim said...

MagBall!

Mayren said...

-Racquetball (Full-contact Optional)
-Choose Your Own Weapon Ball
-Duelling Balls
-Extreme Racquetball.
-Handball Training
-Black Vatican Secret Training Program.
-Racquetball (Black Vatican Rules)
-Pope Ball
-Leveling the Court
-Furious Ball
-Big Blue Street Ball (since playing handball with a racquetball is called Big ball or Big Blue - this seems a likely actual name)
-SkyBounce Vatican Style
-The Laramie Big Blue
-The Laramie Special

-Flockhall Ball or FlockBall

WNG said...

I vote for Pope Ball (since I am way to tired right now to be original) and when the racqueted player beans you with the ball it's called a 'Laramie Special'.

HI from Chucktown!

Raksha said...

Since we're posting butt shots, this woman has the nicest ass I've ever seen. Just thought you'd like to see.

Mayren said...

Raksha- that woman's ass is perfect! wish mine was too.

Raksha said...

Raksha- that woman's ass is perfect! wish mine was too.

I know! I totally get the Bi Girl's Dilemma looking at her. Do I want to be her or be with her?

His Sinfulness said...

Of all the brilliant suggestions you each gave, "Tranny Ball" by far made me laugh the most. I'd have to run it past Legal - don't want to get sued by some angry Tranny who has already coined that name for some other kind of "game." Ew.

As for serious names, "FlockBall" is pretty damn good, as is "Furious Ball" - although I may just be letting my ego get in the way on that last one...

I'll ask Maggie what she thinks today at Wallyball.

His Sinfulness said...

BTW - the last time we played this game, Maggie managed to hit a return that came back off the front wall very rapidly and popped me in the junk pretty directly. Lefty is still a bit sore...

Maggie said...

-TMBG ball
-crazy ball
-blue light ball special

Maggie said...

And I'm sorry about that hit Linus!

His Sinfulness said...

Maggie,

I think "Magball" is begining to grow on me...

And Lefty has forgiven you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving that a name! The "Bi Girl's Dilemma" has been eluding a title for years, now. And that is a very nice ass. I feel this strange temptation to go buy some spandex. I wonder if teh Doktor would mind...

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