Pimp My Ride

I mentioned a while back that some heathen had damaged the Popemobile. Insurance covered it, but it has taken this long to get it fixed. While it was in the shop, I also got the final paperwork for my papal license plates. I picked up both the car and the plates this morning.

Although I have many titles - Pontifex Niger, Dark Dali Lama, Sable Primate, Dark Lord of Free-balling, Ebon Cardinal, to name just a few - the one that has the greatest staying power is HSBP; "His Sinfulness the Black Pope." Since Wyoming only allows 4 letters on their personalized plates, it was a good fit. Of course, the state has no idea what it actually stands for - well, actually I gave them a very wrong idea so they would let it pass.

On the paperwork for the plates, it has a required space for what the 4-letter combo means. I pondered for a bit, and after ruling out "Hot Slutty Bald Pussy" and "Holy Shit - Blue Pez!", I came up with "High Speed BackPacker." Very ironic, that, because carrying my belongings into the wilderness on my back is nearly my definition of hell, and doing so at a high rate of speed would be the only thing worse.

This could be a dangerous move, I know, but I have made certain plans for the safety of the Popemobile. At all times, there is an honor guard of 6 BCPs in the trunk, awaiting deployment. They have been instructed to protect my vehicle and person at all times, and are specially trained in firearms, traffic offenses, and traffic offenses involving firearms...

10 comments:

WNG said...

I heard you got smacked by tornados sent from that 'other' Vatican. Are you guys ok?
The popemobile looks great! I'm assuming it's bulletproof?

Regis said...

The new plates are pretty awesome.

That is all.

Flynn said...

The tornadoes came and went with minimal damage done to the BV. Our backup generators ran contently and we used the down time to give the BCPs a ... diagnostic...

As for the Popemobile, it does look good. The pictures don't do the shiny new finish justice.

WNG said...

diagnostic...yeah...uh huh

Mayren said...

the plates are fanfreakintastic!
This is so perfect for you.
So now you need a Popemobile personalized honk. something with a backbeat to it i think.

Mandy said...

Nice plates! Very stylin'.

His Sinfulness said...

WNG,

Thanks for your concern. The tornadoes were sort of a non-event for most of us. As usual, Benedict got shoddy intelligence from his field operatives, and launched his attack at Windsor, CO. Silly old pontiff.

I will soon be retaliating with an epic upload of nun pr0n to that other vatican's servers - that'll learn him.

Flynn said...

Indeed.
It's amazing what you can do with a network intrusion program, 30 bored BCPs, and a few latex nun outfits... vengeance will be ours!

WNG said...

You guys are in need of some serious mental help...or vodka...hmm...

Desolate Anxiety said...

WOOT IT LOOKS SO AWESOME AND SLEAK!

I am glad you gots such a nice ride now. ;)

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