My New Calling

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Twice in the last week I've had to demand better service at a restaurant. Both times I have been given the food - all of it - for free. I don't yell, or even raise my voice, and yet it seems I am not to be denied. One of these experiences was quite costly for the restaurant in question; there were nine of us, eating full Italian dinners with drinks! I never saw the bill, but it was probably well over $200.

We hear all the time how we are moving toward a service economy. If this is true, then I hope we get better at it. Yesterday's encounter with terrible service involved an order-taker who had to hear the order several times, and then he walked away without a word while I was in mid-sentence, trying to answer his questions about our order! I wanted to reach over the counter and excommunicate him in a most personal and unpleasant manner.

Since this seems to happen more and more these days, it makes me wonder about a few things...

1) Am I that scary? Managers just sort of crumple up and give me free stuff to shut me up - is it me, or are they just trained to cave in? Which poses the question...

2) Are businesses planning a certain amount of free food into the budget? If so, how much is planning for staff incompetence hiking the cost of a meal? Which leads logically to the most important question...

3) How do I profit from this? Could I become a consultant, teaching staff how to avoid the unhappy customer, and managers how to deal with said customer in a less costly way? Is this the career path I've been looking for all these years?

16 comments:

G-Fresh said...

Um...I would say No to this particular career opportunity, but follow your heart.

Teh Dr. said...

It's not that you're scary, you just hang out with lots of younger people and the management assumes you're the dad figure.

Big Gay Jim said...

(I'm going to comment while trying not to step in the puddle of Brian that the Rev is about to create.) You could hire me, and I'll come role play the angry customer. Think of the "this is what NOT to do" examples we could script...

His Sinfulness said...

I AM NO ONE'S DAD.

Are we all clear on that?

Mayren said...

I know he will be eating your bootlaces for a month Linus but seriously... Brian was funny - in that scary way.

Teh Dr. said...

As someone who's had a girlfriend mistaken for his daughter, it would stand to reason that restaurant employees might make the same mistake with your younger friends.

WNG said...

When I was waitressing we had a spill tab that we could run to a certain amount and after that we had to pay for any mistakes...unless you could sucessfully blame it on the kitchen...or you were sleeping with the manager...not that I was...

Flynn said...

I managed something once...

In my experience we gave away one tables whatever, then overcharged the next few tables a bit to make up for it. But then, I worked for an evil empire...

And don't lie, it just depends on where you are when they call you daddy...

Mayren said...

Flynn are you saying that there is a place where he "loves it when they call him Big Papa?"


**Biggy song reference**

WNG said...

Hmmm...I bet Flynn could manage a lot...
Mayren- that's what I'm calling him from now on Pater Major.

His Sinfulness said...

I once slept with a beautiful girl from South America. In the midst of it all she looked up at me and said, "ai, Papi!"

I understand that it means something akin to "Big Daddy" in several Latin American slangs. I also understand that in that context it means that things were going very well for her. Never the less, I looked at her and said the line, now famous among the local Flock...

"If it's all the same to you miss, could we leave your father out of this?"

WNG said...

Whatever.
Pater Major.

Anonymous said...

I can't go ANYWHERE without being mistaken for SOMEONE'S twelve year old daughter.

That really has no relevance whatsoever.

Totally, totally agree. Freud, get the hell out of the bedroom!

A)of course they're going to give you free food, you dwarf them, B) why are you complaining? and C)managers are just spineless. At least, my manager was.

Becky

His Sinfulness said...

Becky,

I dwarf them? Are you calling me fat? I'll have you know that I have lost significant weight - I no longer have to go to the slaughterhouse or the truck scales to be weighed!

Anonymous said...

No, you're just tall - at least you seem that way to me. That was the only thing my mom said about you, by the way - "You look really short next to Linus!" Of course, she's short too...so our perspective may be a bit off. Exactly how tall are you again?

Becky

His Sinfulness said...

In battle mode I am 40 feet tall, and made of pure plasma...

;)

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