Victory - of a sort...

After two very carefully edited emails, the DC has acquiesced and our dodgeball league will be adhering to a slightly modified version of the NADA (National Amateur Dodgeball Association) rules.

Because of my adamance, there has been a suggestion that we change the name of our team from the "Ball Dodgers" (with all the queer jokes that implies) to the "Rules Nazis." We jokingly discussed black t-shirts with the name silk-screened in the Waffen SS font (for those of you who aren't WWII historians, a tastless example can be found here). Flynn, our resident Jew, would likely have problems with that design...

While I'm pleased to claim this victory on behalf of rules lawyers everywhere, it is somewhat bittersweet. She already hates our team, and now it's almost certain that she will seek retribution of some sort - possibly by voodoo. She may have already started...

Last week at dodgeball I hurt my elbow by throwing too hard - nothing serious, just a little strain. I let it rest until Friday afternoon, when I was scheduled to play handball with Vanilla Fresh, Squid, Flynn, Troy, and Maggie. I got about 5 or 6 rallies into the first game, and my elbow began to throb. By the time our scores were in the low teens, I was holding up my right forearm with my left hand between serves. Once the game ended, I said my goodbyes and headed home.

I have had broken bones and fairly severe joint injuries before, and I can honestly say that this was one of the most acute owies I have ever had. When I reached my car to drive home I was nauseous from the pain, and I nearly fainted coming up the steps into the house. G-Fresh hooked me up with her cryocuff and 8 Ibuprofen but the cold actually seemed to make it worse. After about 20 minutes of that I was seriously contemplating going to the emergency room - the pain originated in my elbow but it was shooting up the front of my bicep and into my shoulder joint. I figured that I had tweaked my elbow enough to pinch a major nerve in there, and I was just about ready for some serious pain meds. I decided to give the vitamin i a little more time to work, and I switched from the cryocuff to a heat wrap instead. In just a few minutes the pain began to subside and eventually I drifted off to sleep for about 2 hours.

When G-Fresh woke me, I was amazed to find that the pain was almost completely gone. I'm puzzled how something could hurt that badly and then be fine just a few hours later. My elbow is slightly swollen, but it's only painful if I try to pick up something heavy - in normal use it's fine.

It was while we were at the handball courts that the DC sent out her email, accepting my interpretation of the rules. Coincidence? I think not. I can only surmise that the she is actually a voodoo priestess, and she has a little Black Pope doll with a bunch of pins in its right elbow.

I need counter-magic - STAT.

7 comments:

WNG said...

Ummm... I'm pretty sure the 'resident Jew' isn't the only one who would have a problem with the Waffen font. That being said- I am in desperate need of all the measly magic I might posess, sorry. (You could always just kick her ass...)

Flynn said...

She is in fact a creature of evil, casting hateful retribution on all who would dare question her mastery of league rules.

I too tweaked my knee playing handball shortly after His Sinfulness' elbow injury. Perhaps it's time to call the other team members to make sure no one is trapped under a car or fending off the weeping angles...

His Sinfulness said...

He means weeping ANGELS folks - weeping angles sounds like some home improvement project gone awry. "You've got some weeping angles up their, Bob. Those are going to leak during a heavy rain..."

Modig_Bjorn said...

SIM-SIM-SALABIM! K, a hex has been cast. ;)

Mayren said...

ya it's definately voodoo.. or perhaps arthritis. sheesh.

MightyMightyMax said...

I don't know, considering Flynn brought a ham to the Easter Potluck, I don't Waffen SS font is going to be that big of a problem, but I could be wrong.

Maybe you need to find a witches circle around here to counteract the DC's voodoo. Or, just put a horse's head in her bed.

Flynn said...

Angels, angles, why the hell doesn't the software pick this shit up? For that matter why can't a person edit comments, I mean really...
Or perhaps I shouldn't post until after my morning Dew... anyway...

I wouldn't be terribly offended, God knows I laugh at enough Jew/Nazi jokes. South Park anyone?
As long as it stays a joke. I would hate to have to beat the hell out of a kid on the other team for busting out the KKK love thinking we were down with that kinda thing...

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