Life Imitates Tragedy

I have commented before on the pitiful state of theatre today, but deep down I harbored a tiny spark of hope. I mean, theatre is an ancient human institution - a few turkeys on stage won't undo the millenia of development since Aeschylus first dreamed of tragedies that glorified that gods, right?

In light of recent events, I'm not so sure.

At Rachel's birthday, I was chatting with her normally quite sensible younger sister. Somehow, the topic of musicals came up, and we began discussing the merits of various movie versions of classic shows. At some point, she indicated that she preferred Gerard Butler to Michael Crawford. While I explained that Butler's voice lacked the power and refinement of Mr. Crawford's, I struggled to maintain my composure; I could feel the aforementioned spark waning. A few moments later, she dealt my hope another blow - she stated, quite seriously, that she preferred Antonio Banderas to Mandy Patinkin in "Evita." After much stunned sputtering, I said, "Next you're going to tell me that you prefer Madonna to Patti Lupone!" She said, "Patti who?"

I believe I wept.

If you have ever seen a classical tragedy on stage, you are familiar with the feeling that things simply can't get any worse. And then they do.

I received an email from one of the cyber-faithful (Kim D) that crushed the last dregs of hope from my withered, blackened heart. She knew that I would want to know about the following two new musicals, due out later this year...

Legally Blonde - The Musical.

Evil Dead: The Musical.

If I were Oedipus, it would be time to gouge my own eyes out with my mom's jewelry...