From the Desk of the Dark Acolyte

On this the momentous 40th anniversary of the birth of my uncle, the Reverend Linus, I present this gift. I have commanded my maternal vessel and paternal unit to procure this gift and assure its delivery to you. I must add that the Blue’s Clues wrapping paper, while amusing, was not my ideal selection. As it was the only non Christmas paper the maternal vessel had available, I had no choice but to acquiesce. I hope that the gift pleases and amuses you. (Editor's note: The gift was a very nice travel version of Scrabble. The Dark Pontif was pleased.)


Here we see the Dark Acolyte hard at work, dictating correspondence.

I know that there is a belief, dare I say even a fervent desire, among some that I assume female form when I finally grace this Earth in the Fall of this year. I understand that in accordance with this belief, I have been referred to as the Dark Niece. As I have not yet chosen to reveal my preference, I have given myself the gender-neutral moniker of Dark Acolyte. This indicates my current unknown status and my dedication to supporting the hellfire, brimstone, and heathen smiting of my most revered Uncle’s ministry.

I remain your most humble,

Dark Acolyte

p.s. Mom and Dad say Hi and Happy Birthday.

(It's one thing to get your friends to play along with your fantasy life. It's quite another when your family joins in. My sister and brother-in-law are cool...)