Your Personal Prophecy

Although I clearly suffer from a messianic complex, I have never considered myself particularly prophetic. Although I sometimes predict outcomes, it is always based on an observation of human nature rather than hearing a divine message. I would be remiss as your internet spiritual leader if I didn't do something to address this lack. To that end, I direct you to Bishop Jordan.

After the cool jazz intro ends, click on "Free Prophecies Are Back! Click here to get yours!" If you enter some personal info (so they can put you on their mailing list) the Bishop will ask the Holy Spirit about you, and then tell you what it said. It's like in elementary school when you ask your friend to ask that cute boy if he likes you...

Naturally, I signed up for a free prophecy immediately, and I'll let you know how it goes when I receive it. The existence of "free" prophecies leads me to believe that there are probably paid prophecies as well. I'll keep you posted on that front as it develops.

I love stuff like this; job security for folks like me, and fun for the whole Flock.
Amen.

2 comments:

Flynn said...

I couldn't find a pay-per-prophecy option, but I did find a schwag link. Because everyone needs more Bishop Jordan plush dolls and vibrating cock rings... er...

WNG said...

Is Flynn even allowed to talk about plush dolls until I get my Flynn's Hair plush? No. I don't think so.

Prophetic cock rings...hmm...
"She will fake it...batteries can't make up for technique..."

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