Interview with the Pontiff

I have been asked the following five questions by my Right Hand, Nerdygirl the Unbeliever.

1. A genie wreaks havoc upon you for not giving his son enough scholarship money. Out of all your incarnations, (Nebraska State Patrol, Punkrawk Star, SCA player, etc), you must choose one to live as for the rest of your days, excluding your current stint as a Financial Aid schlub and student. Which do you pick and why?
I choose SCA player, because in those days I was young, sexy, and deadly. Right now, I've only got two of those...

2. Dream bicycle--what is it?
Probably a 1950's era Superbe Roadster with a Sturmey-Archer 3-speed drivetrain. Or a Critical Power HPV. Or possibly a Bowden Spacelander... there are about 10 more, if you're interested...

3. If you could reshape the scholarship system, how would you do such?
%My ideas are quite crazy on this topic; I've been told so by people at my office. Here's one of my nutty, extreme ideas - let's give SCHOLARships to actual SCHOLARS! I know, it's whacky, but I think it might take the edge off all those accusations that Universities are just training grounds for professional sports. I have this insane notion that academics just might be what college is actually about! (The good thing is that I'm not bitter about this...)%

4. What is your favorite piece of literature, either prose or poem?
This question has been ruled ridiculously impossible by a panel of Inquisitors, so I get to answer the secret alternative question; "What is your favorite song by ABBA?" It's "Fernando" - the English version, of course.

5. What is the hardest part of being vegan in Wyoming?
I am actually just a vegetarian with vegan tendencies, but I'd say that the hardest thing is dealing with amateur dietitians who are convinced that if you don't eat meat you will die. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am quite hearty; my immune system is thriving, my coat is shiny, my eyes are bright, my nose is cold and wet - I am ridiculously healthy for a pontiff of my age.

If you'd like to be interviewed as well, let me know in the comments...

16 comments:

Professor Noob said...

I'd go on a long rant about how dumb-ass football players who think that the plural of "tomato" is "tomato's" get frickin' full-ride scholarships while I'm forced to spend an entire summer whacking cars with a stop sign to get enough money to buy my GODDAMN BOOKS...but you've heard all this before. ;p

Unknown said...

Hmmm...blog idea... check me later.
Also a question- Is it worse that they get full rides to college or that the institutions graduate them with little or no regard as to whether they have learned anything?

Linus said...

Perhaps the saddest thing is those who don't graduate. If they don't get drafted into the pros, then after 5 years they frequently walk away with no degree, and then what?

Mayren said...

i'd love to be interviewed - but i don't think there is enough subject material available in order to do it. Not many have questions.

---
That was a great interview.
I think you should have given at least a Top 5 or Top 10 list of your all time loved pieces of literature. The Abba Secret question really leaves me unsatisfied. (pout)

Congrats to Nerdygirl for the awesome set of questions.

Levi said...

i too am unsatisfied by your abba response, if only because you chose poorly. and because new reading ideas are always nice.

Linus said...

Fine, you bunch of babies...

Books everyone should read:
-The Hobbit
-The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
-The Dune trilogy (note - JUST the trilogy...)
-The Wizard of Earthsea
-The Confessions of Augustine
-The Art of Worldly Wisdom (by Baltazar Gracian)
-Siddhartha
-The World According to Garp
-The Great Gatsby
-Divine Comedy
-Ender's Game
-The Hitchhiker's Guide series
-The His Dark Materials trilogy
-Paradise Lost
-Sampson Agonistes
-Areopagitica

That should keep you busy for a bit.

(How dare you question Fernando?!)

Big Gay Jim said...

I, too, shall defend Fernando. There was something in the air that night, you know... ;)

MightyMightyMax said...

I've always preferred Mama Mia to Fernando ;)

Mayren said...

i'm right there.. Fernando boo.. (mostly because i'm being spiteful )

Eoin said...

So God Emperor, Heretics, and Chapterhouse don't count??

or by Trilogy did you mean the original saga and ignore all the crap his son made?

Linus said...

Beginning with God Emperor it turned to shite... and then his son made it worse. Yes - just the first three books, please.

Professor Noob said...

Sort of like the Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy. I don't care what anyone says, after book three it's all crap.
And the movie was blasphemous, though it was a great excuse to cart around funny towels in public.

Linus said...

I agree on Hitchhikers as well. The first three were brilliant - the rest were a bit formulaic.

As for the movie, I enjoyed it, but it was heretical to the Hitchhiker's faithful...

Eoin said...

That is too bad for you. I really enjoyed God Emperor. And of course my tastes are more then just mere matters of opinion, but incontrovertible Fact (notice the capital letter). :-P

Nerdygirl said...

Now, do you want the bicycle or the nekkid redhead on the bicycle?

Tessa K. said...

i already said i want to be interviewed on nerdy's blog - but if you have fabulous questions for me too, by all means ask away... i shall endevour to satisfy ... your curiosity

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