Recent Events

So… after a court battle, Bill Ayers came to Black Vatican University and spoke. And I was there. And I don’t feel anymore radical than before. Granted, I may not be the best test case, but still… Thanks to the craziness of the Right-wing and the cowardice of UW’s administration, 1100 people were there instead of the 12 or so that would have attended his original speech. Way to go Teapublicans and Wyoming Patriot Alliance!

So… Arizona has instituted a new DWB law – that’s “driving while brown” for those of you who aren’t up on cop lingo like me. To be fair, all this law does is force local officers to enforce Federal laws… without allocating any additional funding for training of said officers. What could go wrong? Actually, I don’t know how they’re going to manage it – cops are not the most adaptable folks on he planet. When I was a cop if we got ANYthing new they had mandatory statewide training. I remember sitting through a 2 hour presentation on our new flashlights one afternoon, and those little pokey keychains? That was a three day qualification course… so interpreting the ins and outs of international documents which are only partially in English? That’s gonna’ go well. (UPDATE: AZ Governor Jan Brewer signed an executive order stipulating that officers will receive additional training on "reasonable suspicion." Still no word on where the money for that is coming from...)

So… Sarah Palin said something stupid again. I know – making fun of Sarah Palin for making ill-considered statements is like looking for trannies at a screening of Victor Victoria, but this is a good one. On Hannity this week she lamented how one of the “lamestream media” outlets just doesn’t get it on this immigration thing in Arizona, doncha know. She was upset about a screen graphic that read “Arizona makes it illegal to be illegal.” The lamestream media outlet in question? Fox News. As in, her employer, Fox News. Kind of awkward around the watercooler after that one…

So… the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico is up to 5000 barrels per day. The ever irrational Rush Limbaugh had his morlocks do some research on this and discovered that 5000 b/day is what seeps into the Gulf every day from natural sources anyway, so it’s no big deal - the ocean will recover on its own if we just leave it alone. Right – Rush, that’s like saying you’ll probably eat a whole bottle of ketchup this year on your fries, so we’re just going to shove the whole bottle down your throat right now – surely your stomach will recover on its own.

So… turns out that boobs don’t cause earthquakes, but boobquake 2010 was still a huge success. I think this is the best way to address fundamental religious idiocy that I have heard of in a long time. In fact, I was going to suggest that all of the women reading this should show off their assets every time a fundie says something sexist, irrational, or ill-informed – but that’s so common you’d all have to run around topless, and it’s still a bit cold in some locales. For our local brand of religious lunacy, I propose instead “Show Your Nipples to a Mormon Day,” followed by “Kiss my Nondenominational Ass Week.” Who knows? Maybe all that skin will finally make the caldera blow and we can all meet this Creator they keep talking about…

This last bit is nothing more than shameless self-promotion and I am only posting it because Ducky said, "screenshot or it didn't happen." The screenshot at left is from ItsYourTurn.com, a site for play-by-email boardgames like Chess, Go, Backgammon, etc. They offer over 70 games and have over 3 million registered users. Players battle for position on "ladders" which function like a continuous challenge tournament - the goal is to challenge and beat the players above you on the ladder to become player #1. If you click on the screenshot to enlarge it you'll note that player #1 on this ladder (for "Pro Pente") is none other than your's truly, Linus Furious. Due to the nature of play-by-email it has taken me about 3 months to battle to the top of this ladder. Yes - I have Pente-Fu. You might even say I have the Pente Dim Mak ("death touch"). Feel free to go to the site and challenge me to a game.

4 comments:

Ducky said...

Big news week, huh? Yay on the Pente ladder, I suppose you did make a screen shot and all. Weren't you just telling me you didn't want to play computer games last night because you "have a life?" Hmmm.... I see.

Linus said...

You make it sound like I don't want to play computer games. If I could swing it I'd play Fallout and Bioshock and Mass Effect all day, every day. Stupid life, getting in the way...

Rebecca said...

That's my guy! :)

Raksha said...

"Boobquake 2010" sounds like some kind of Evony expansion pack or something.

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