Save Me From Myself

When I arrived at the office today I was asked, "how are you today?" I thought about it briefly and the word which best described my condition at that moment was "disgruntled." As usual, I immediately questioned my diction; it seems to me that I shouldn't call myself "disgruntled" unless I could honestly claim that I was ever "gruntled" in the first place.

Research was in order, so I put on my Googling hat (it's just like the one at left...).

It turns out I had spoken correctly, but for the wrong reasons. In this case the prefix "dis-" is not a negator (like in "disconnect" or "disappear") but rather an intensifier (as in "disannul" or "dissever") and thus "gruntled" doesn't mean contented or happy - it simply means the same thing as "disgruntled" but less so. In fact, in this case the suffix -le is what is known as a "frequentive." When placed at the end of a verb it indicates that the action is repeated frequently. Thus "gruntle" means "to grunt frequently," and the usual connotation is that the grunting is a form of complaint.

In light of these findings I can safely say that I am nothing if not gruntled, and frequently disgruntled. It took 25 minutes of searching and checking references, but I feel better now that I know my diction was etymologically sound.

That's how bad it's gotten. This is clearly a cry for help; I need to stop studying for a while, and soon. I need to stop living in my head and start doing actual work again - like, work that involves cubicle walls and a salary, without concern for "theoretical frames" or "paradigmatic constraints."

I am open to suggestions (like any good grad student...) so feel free to name the job to which you think the Pontifex Niger is best suited. Let your creative juices flow freely - I will entertain (probably quite briefly, knowing you silly lot) all of your suggestions.

11 comments:

Tessa K. said...

Dude, you know the job for you is ruling the world. Why do you even have to ask this silly question? Cubicle, HA! That cubicle job you think you want is based on "theoretical frames;" only you have no control over the ones chosen to "paradigmatically constrain" it. You know that not having control will drive you crazy after the first encounter with said constraints. At least in your head you are the one applying the constraints on others... so, you rule the world.
=)

Also, the word nerd in me fell a little bit in love with you for this post... just saying.

Linus said...

I am prepared to take on the mantle of benevolent dictator at any time. Let me know when my office is ready and I'll get right to work, assuming the compensation package has the perqs I require...

By the way, this spelling of "perqs" comes from "perquisite" which is derived from the Middle English word for "property gained by means other than inheritance." My etymology brings all the boys to the yard...

Rebecca said...

I don't know about all the boys, but it brought THIS girl to the yard. God I love words...

If the position of benevolent dictator has already been filled, might I suggest masked vigilante? I bet Shane would be your spunky sidekick.

Please don't tell him I said that.

Linus said...

We could be "The Irish Avengers." Sort of like the Boondock Saints but with better costumes. I don't know about "sidekick" though - if Shane is the sidekick I'll get stuck picking up the bar tab constantly.

Unknown said...

FLYING TACKLE!!!!

Mayren said...

I see your Flying Tackle and Raise you a *GLOMP*

Linus said...

Ok - Mayren has convinced me; the vigilante thing is starting to sound better. We need someone to take care of our headquarters, though. Our version of Alfred or Pepper Potts... Is Gwynneth Paltrow available?

Mayren said...

*raises hand and waves around impatiently*

I not only 2nd this Vigilante idea but I would of course nominate Myself as the HQ defender... I mean Who better than Fan Girl #1? Noone could get past me with my Cult-like power of belief. It puts True Faith to shame. There is also the secret *Glomp Attack*

Linus said...

Seconded by the representative from Mayrenopolis!

Shane and I discussed this last night and I think we've come up with a better name. We are "Corned Beef and Cabbage."

As the fat guy, naturally I'm Corned Beef... (sigh)

Unknown said...

Sooo, showering is out of the question then. You really need to understand the flying tackle concept though. The phrase was coined by another Flock Hall resident.

Linus said...

In keeping with our heritage, I made colcannon today... for us, it's like spinach for Popeye.

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