Papal Slacker

It has come to my attention that I have been a very lazy pontiff. I have overlooked one of the big jobs that popes always take on - the writing of encyclicals.

The way that other Vatican uses the word, an encyclical is a letter of instruction to a given audience of bishops; usually the bishops of a specific country or all the bishops of the world. In terms of its original etymology, it is simply a "circular letter" - meaning a letter to be disseminated among all. Either way, it is a position paper of sorts, in which the seated primate makes his views (and thus, the official views of the whole church) known on topics of interest to members.

Benedict is already working on his third encyclical - "Caritas in Veritate" (Love in Truth), which is supposed to be about the social problems in developing countries, while I haven't even done one yet - and I've been in office a year longer than he has! Sure, I've issued some beatifications and some censures, but clearly, I need to get my pontifex in gear...

To that end, I am throwing open my inbox to the Flock. What topics would you like the Black Vatican to clarify? I will entertain any suggestions, from the most esoteric and theological (how many BCPs can dance on the head of a pin?) to the most mundane (should the toilet tissue in my home pull from the top or from underneath?). One caveat - like most popes, I'll refrain from commenting on politics (GO OBAMA!).

Yes - this is a thinly veiled effort to get you, the reader, to create topics for the blog, thereby doing my job for me. Thanks for pretending you didn't notice.