On a Friend's Boyfriend...

"He's a tool. And not a useful tool either... not metric or standard - more like one of those crappy little tools that comes with particle board furniture... particle board furniture that comes from some ass-backward Eastern European country. The finest in Serbo-Croatian furniture engineering; a trendy, kitsch futon from some kind of retarded Soviet Ikea. He is like the torx key for putting the casters on a Czechoslovakian file cabinet."

9 comments:

Big Gay Jim said...

Heh. You said Serbian.

Caitie said...

Okay, I honestly think I'm about to stop breathing for all the laughing I'm doing right now. Seriously. I now must give you a huge hug when next I see you.

stephanie said...

Hey Linus...this is Caitie's friend Stephanie you met a few days ago, remember me? Kid with the spatula? Well, surprisingly, I found this blog through my friend Clay's page, not through Caitie. Small world, ne? Anyway, this cracks me up. Even though the guy it's referring to is my little bro, still funny as hell. :P

His Sinfulness said...

He's your brother?! Luckily, being a tool is not a permanent condition... :)

Clayton said...

Now was this right speech. I can lecture you cause I'm Zen Mormon these days, mind.

His Sinfulness said...

Definitely not Right Speech. Also a major violation of the prohibition on speaking of another's faults, and probably an infraction of the rule against idle chatter, too... :)

Caitie said...

Actually, he's not her *real* little brother. He's her adopted little brother. Steph tends to adopt siblings, since she doesn't have any in real life (if she wants to borrow a little siter sometime, she's welcome to mine).

Clayton said...

course, I think I broke the rules by pointing it out...

Clayton said...

and man I look stern in that picture

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