Last week, I promised to talk about the second half of my vow - "to do what is right" - without really considering how hard a sermon like that would be to write. What is right to one person will naturally be wrong to another, and trying to enforce absolute morality is the path to tyranny. Organized religions often provide lists of rights and wrongs like the ten commandments of the Bible or the ten grave precepts from Zen, but these lists are subject to so much personal interpretation that instead of getting everyone on the same moral page, they tend to create divisions within the ranks of the faithful. The societal construct of right and wrong is no better, as it shifts and changes with time, location, gender, race, class, government, and a host of other factors.
In any given situation, we are faced with myriad possibilities, and usually there are several courses of action that could be the "right" one. We tend to approach each decision with a vague notion of our own ethical template in hand, assuming that it will fit every situation - or making it fit if it doesn't quite cover the situation. This can also lead to ill-informed absolutist positions. I have certainly had the experience of saying, "That is just plain wrong...who could do such a thing" - only to find out later that the topic was much more complex than I had thought, and the people involved were not so different from myself. I think it is safe to say that EVERY situation is more complex than you think it is, because you simply can't know what the people directly involved in it are going through. Your understanding of any other person's actions is based in your own perceptions of them, and may not have much in common with their reality.
Given all of that, how do we know what is right in a given moment? Is there some litmus test that can guide us in all situations?
I hate to sound like a typical Buddhist, but I think the answer resides in realizing that you are part of everything, and everything is a part of you.
On whatever level you wish to examine it - economic, environmental, physical, spiritual, etc. - every decision you make affects others; it stands to reason that you should think of others while you make them. When faced with a hard decision, I often "try out" the possible choices in my head; I imagine the outcome of a given choice in as much detail as I can, and then ask myself, "can I live with that?" Perhaps the real question is, "can my neighbor live with that?"
What I'm suggesting is exactly what Jesus, the Buddha, Ghandi, Bahá’u’lláh, and a host of others have suggested over the years - a fundamental shift in worldview. A shift away from self, in favor of unity. A shift away from the petty ( and ultimately illusory) personal issues of the moment, and a shift toward concern for everyone. In essence, it is about compassion for others - it's about love.
I realize that this is not particularly shocking news. In fact, I now recall that I've said it here before - it's always about love. (That's right - even I don't remember what my previous sermons were about...)
So here is your litmus test for right action; "Is this the loving thing to do?" I have yet to encounter a situation to which it doesn't apply. If you can look at the situation with love for everyone involved, you will find the correct course for yourself everytime. That's not to say that it's the profitable course, or the easy course, or the fun course, or the pleasant course, or the satisfying course, or the expected course...
Go in Peace.
Sunday Sermon
O frabjous day!
Today is the birthday of two unique men. Both were misunderstood in their times, both had huge personal issues, and both left a creative legacy that is integral to the canons of their respective fields.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - born January 27, 1756. He left more than 600 musical works, even though he died before his 36th birthday. He is considered one of the greatest musical minds in history. Take a minute to listen to some of his work today. You can get it for free here.
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson - born January 27, 1832. Wrote, as Lewis Carroll, a prodigious body of children's literature which has been translated into over 30 languages, as well as numerous books on mathematics under his own name. Despite the intended audience, there are few adults who can catch all of the nuanced subtleties of the Alice books, or the less read "Sylvie and Bruno." Perhaps his most well-known work is the bloody story of the "beamish boy" and his foe, the Jabberwock.
Jabberwocky
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
Read the rest here. Go on, read it - it's only five more quatrains. Just for fun, copy and paste it into Word and try to spell check it...
"Suicide Hotline, please hold..."
I have an odd schedule. Last night, I was in bed, dead asleep by 6:30 PM, and I got up at 2:00 AM this morning. My friends and roommates know this, and they are pretty good about trying to not wake me in the evening. This is made easier by the fact that I can sleep through just about anything - living next to a trainyard and a major overpass for a semester will do that for you. I keep these hours so that I can be done with work each day by 9:00 AM. While most of you are snug in your beds, I am making sure that the procrastinators, the homeless, the drunk, and the generally sleepless who come to my lab don't break anything.
Because I am the only person most of you know who can be counted upon to be awake at, say, 3:30 AM, I've gotten some choice phone calls and text messages while working. I've been called on account of nightmares, insomnia, illness, horniness, and deep, dark depression, but my favorites are the drunk dials.
"Hello?"
"Hey Linusss..."
"Hey (name withheld), how are you?"
"I'm doin' jus great..."
"I can hear that. Did you go out tonight?"
"This iss not my house..."
"How much have you had to drink?"
"All uv it."
"You drank all of the alcohol at the club?"
(giggling) "No... all tha we had at home...then some uv the some uv some uv the some uv the club's."
"Where are you now?"
"At home. Well, i's somebody's home, anyway..."
"I see. So have you had anything to eat lately?" (At this point, I've given up on trying to figure out why they called me and moved on to recovery and hang-over prevention.)
"Oh yeah, had some gummy bears... you know what, Linusss?"
"What?"
"I wanna' get up your kilt."
"Ok, see, that's not going to happen..."
"I jus wanna' see for m'self..."
The nightmare calls are great too. One friend called to tell me that she had dreamt that Henry Rollins was her dance partner for a recital that determined her semester grade - and he was such a good dancer that he was making her look bad. Another was wandering a cemetery, but all of the grave markers had been replaced with spoons - big, terrifying spoons. One person called to tell me about a horrible dream she had, then as soon as I answered the phone she forgot all the details.
One friend called to tell me that he had finally finished a big project that he had been stressing over for months. He had finished it about midnight, and he called me around 4:45 AM. After I congratulated him, he confessed that even though it was now done he had been in a state of anxiety about it for so long, he still couldn't sleep.
Another odd category of calls is the "don't let me fall asleep" call. I have talked or texted people into Denver to catch the red eye, into Laramie from Denver, and into Greeley from Fort Collins. Those are pretty nerve-wracking - what can I really do if they drift off while talking to me, or don't return my text? Helplessly listening to a car crash through my cell phone is one of MY nightmares...
Some nights I am happy to get them... but I'm not saying that everyone should call me in the wee hours of the morning. In fact, it would suck if my quiet hours were to be plagued by the phone, but I don't mind the occassional call or text. And isn't it nice to know that the Black Pope is there for you?
Three Small Victories
1) Strategic Victory
I just cracked the top 10 on the It's Your Turn Pente Ladder - I'm currently ranked number 6! There are over 200 players on the ladder and I started at the very bottom, so I feel pretty good about that...
By the way, everyone should belong to It's Your Turn. It's the easiest on-line game site I've found for correspondence style play. It's like playing with friends by email, but they take care of all the pesky record keeping and message sending for you. In addition to Pente they have Chess, Backgammon, Stratego, and a bunch more. Join, and be crushed by me...
2) Wardrobe Victory
Last year, I ordered the super sweet "I am ten ninjas" tee shirt from Diesel Sweeties. 
Due to a shipping mishap, I got a shirt with my own personal robot Jesus instead.
I totally understand the mix-up - they are very similar, ninjas and R2D2. So this year, I ordered ten ninjas again - and I'm wearing it right now! (I also got one which reads, "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r3411y n33d t0 g37 141d")
3)Literary Victory
I finally finished reading "The Morgesons" by Elizabeth Stoddard. If you aren't familiar with this 250+ page abdominal cramp count yourself lucky, and take my word for it - reading it cover to cover is an accomplishment. I've also finished "Daisy Miller" by Henry James, but that is not as big a deal. It's like treating your own ingrown toenail, where "The Morgesons" is more like giving yourself an appendectomy with your car keys...
So I have three reasons to feel good about the day. What have you got?
Shameless Plugs
I have noticed that some of my favorite blogs are suffering from low circulation of late. This is a blatant attempt to bring the awesome might of the Minsitry to bear upon these small, but deserving blogs.
Flock Hall is a lovely little blog about our experimental commune in Laramie. Catch a glimpse of what it is like to live with Sqee Piddly, Ben Ben Our Ben Bad Ben, the Travisi, His Sinfulness the Black Pope, and Ajax the WonderGrey; featuring special guest appearances by G-Fresh and the Good Doctor Smith...
Zombies are a serious threat. Given the performance of FEMA during the Katrina disaster, I feel better getting my zombie preparedness info from the good people at the Zombie Blog. The Hopeless Romantic and company really know their stuff - they keep you abreast of all the latest developments in zombie entertainment, theory, and survival. Become a regular reader, and when the dead rise, everyone will look to you for guidance.
Just to make sure you don't think this is all about blogs to which I contribute, I bring you... Danger Hazzard. This blog is a breath of fresh air in the fart-filled elevator of the blogsphere. Irreverent, indignant, and indie, Levi serves up a steaming torrent of student angst couched in literary finery, with a dash of white boy humor to keep it real. He is my choice for angry young Man of the Year.
Ever wonder why retail employees do the things they do? The Rambling Retailer takes you to the dark side of the counter, and explains the arcane ways of this ancient cult of commercialism. He is occassionally pedantic and preachy, but always revealing - worth a read if you ever shop at the Evil Empire or the Temple of K.
It wouldn't be me if I didn't hype a religious site. This one, Pilgrims & Parish is a very interesting mix of Catholic and Protestant doctrine. Fascinating. Confused, but fascinating...
Enjoy these gems of the blogosphere, and find some of your own. Go forth, search, and report back.
Sunday Sermon
It's been a long while since I posted a Sunday Sermon. I got out of the habit last March, and it never realy seemed like the right time to begin again. It seemed to me that the sermons had gotten stale, so I stopped. I know now why priests and pastors rely so heavily on the calendar for topics - it's not easy to come up with something relevant and pithy every week. Sometimes, I wish the Flock had an agreed-upon calendar - to simply look up the date and be referred to the relevant scripture for each Sunday of the year would make sermons much easier to generate.
Instead, the Flock is a diverse group, and not everyone is at the same place spiritually. In fact, not everyone who reads this blog even believes in the spirit... so where does an honest shepherd like myself look for inspiration? I decided to go back to the very beginning of this - back to my ordination.
On Saturday, February 21st, 2004, I agreed to "pomote the freedom of religion and do that which is right." That's all the Universal Life Church requires of you for ordination. They go on to say, "it is up to the individual to determine what is right as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others and is within the law. That is as close to the Golden Rule as one can come." When I really pondered that vow tonight, I realized that I've not kept it very well. We'll examine the first half - promoting freedom of religion - today, and perhaps I'll talk about doing that which is right next week.
As a scholar of religions, it is my job to study and try to understand all religions. Perhaps one could even say that what I am really studying is the religious impulse - the human tendency to seek out the Divine. Naturally, my own likes and dislikes have colored that study, and I tend to be more kindly disposed toward Eastern modes of thought. When I am presenting ideas that come from the Buddhist, Hindu, or Taoist traditions, I tend to be gentle and respectful of them, while Christian, Jewish, or Islamic concepts usually receive pretty harsh treatment from me. Looking back over the posts on this blog, I feel I've been particularly harsh to the alphabet soup crowd (JW, LDS, SDA), but Roman Catholics and Evangelicals have felt my pen's caustic sting as well.
As a scholar, this is just simple bias, something to be watched for and edited out of academic writing - but as the shepherd of the Flock, it is a violation of my vow. I should be making this a safe and welcoming place for all faiths, not just my chosen favorites. The religious freedom that I have promoted has really been only freedom for those who agreed with me, those who were comfortable making light of the faiths spawned of Abraham.
It may seem obvious to say this, but tolerance is not about learning to like every faith out there - it's about tolerating them. Think about the way we use that word - we tolerate the noise of small children, we tolerate our parents or spouses nagging us, we tolerate our neighbors playing their music too loud, we tolerate aches and pains after we work out. We put up with these things in order to get along in our homes, in our families, in our lives, and in our neighborhoods.
I think this blog, this virtual neighborhood, needs to get along better. I'm not saying we all need to join in a group hug with Fred Phelps, Osama bin Laden, and Peter Gilmore, but we can accept that they exist, and that they have reasons to believe and promulgate the faiths they embrace.
Before anyone thinks that this means the Ministry is going to become a wussified mutual appreciation society, let me clarify - I'll still be dishing out the fire and brimstone where it is warranted, but I plan to do so in a more respectful way. I encourage you all to try it too.
When you hear of the latest pronouncment on god's wrath by Pat Robertson, or when a new tape is released by Osama talking about how it's god's will that Americans die, instead of rolling your eyes and thinking, "fucking fundies...", take a minute to put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself if your version of the divine leads you to beliefs that are viewed as odd or dangerous by others. In other words, seek out similarities rather than differences. Once you have established common ground with the other (even if all you can find in common with them is that you are both air-breathers), it is more likely that any criticism you may have of their faith will be rational, and presented in a respectful way.
As for me, I'll try to practice what I just preached. And beginning today, there will be regular preaching again - every Sunday.
Go in Peace.
Your Lucky Day
I have been feeling a bit grumpy of late. The weather is chilly, the skies are frequently grey, and I don't really need to be here (my degree is done). I keep telling myself that I could be in California right now, where the lows are in the 50s. To complete my malaise, I left my cell phone in the AG building last night, and naturally, the classroom I left it in was locked up when I returned to retrieve it.
I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way... This is a February kind of mood, and February is a ways off yet. To shake this feeling (or at least to put it off until its appointed time) I've decided to look instead at all the reasons today is actually a good day for me and all of my loyal readers.
Today is a good day because...
You didn't leave your window down overnight
Your job doesn't suck as much as his
This isn't your Lazyboy
You are neither of these two
You don't have to pay his therapy bills
And most importantly, you are spending your free time reading this blog, rather than writing Danish Phantom of the Opera Fanfic, then translating it into English...
Yes, you are fortunate indeed.
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