My New Boyfriend

I will confess to having some issues about cleanliness. Now that it's just Ajax and me, I have been reveling in the lack of dirt in my life. In particular, I have been enjoying my sparkly white bathroom. There is a certain comfort in knowing that any soap scum and crud you may find in the tub was left there by you and you alone.

Not that there is any there right now, mind you; I have been taking a perverse joy in cleaning of late. Since I received a gift card in the mail today, I decided to feed my OCD. I needed a little mop for the bathroom and kitchen - the rest of the house has hardwood floors, which require a different kind of mop and completely different product - so, I went to Kmart and sifted through all the Swiffer clones. That's where I met him...




Maybe it was the clean white shirt. Maybe it was the earring. Maybe it was the two different kinds of cleaning pads he offered me (one for mopping, one for scrubbing). Whatever it was, I'm glad that Raksha has said that I can have as many boyfriends as I want. I was weak, but he was so persuasive... About half of my gift card went to buying the "MagicReach", pictured on the right. (I wonder if the good folks at Proctor and Gamble are aware that there are several sex toys with very similar names...)

At any rate, it kicks ass. I was able to render my bathroom clean enough for surgery in about 10 minutes. The mopping pad is good for the sink, the outside of the toilet, and floors, while the scrubbing pad worked very well on the tub and shower walls. You can also detach the head and use it as a hand scrubber - handy for cleaning the faucets.

Best of all, when I went to the P&G site for these pics, I also found this hilarious demo (make sure your sound is on - the music is the best part). Brini Maxwell would be proud...

12 comments:

Nerdygirl said...

Sweetie, your gay is showing. Not that that's a bad thing, but this is why Jim keeps the flame alive...

Big Gay Jim said...

Nah...Jim keeps the flame alive because it's fun to watch the Rev go "ick" and make that scrunchy face. ;)

Raksha said...

Aww! A new romance in bloom is always so cute. But it must be said: you are a Gay Homosexual.

Linus said...

To paraphrase Dave the Lighting Guy:

"I don't wanna' sound like a queer or nothin', but I think clean floors are pretty kick ass!"

Big Gay Jim said...

Go go gadget Orgasmo!

Linus said...

UPDATE:
Had a date with him this evening; it was wonderful. The kitchen is sparkling now...

Mandyfish said...

I'd pay you to come clean my apartment. Please?

Levi said...

Wouldn't the phrase "A Gay Homosexual" be a double-gaying, thereby negating itself into simply meaning "heterosexual"?

Linus said...

Mandy,

Are you buying the plane ticket? :)

Levi,

Two gays don't make a straight...

Big Gay Jim said...

Nope...but they sure can make a fabulous dinner party! (And a hot night afterwards. I've heard. They say...)

Modig said...

Reading Jim and Linus' comments have dropped my purity score over the past couple weeks. Damn it!

Big Gay Jim said...

Just wait till you're in the same room with us! And oh, you should have seen the IM convo from last night. ;) Don't worry, Modig. We'll corrupt you completely yet.

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