Be Prepared

I was playing some mahjong with the boys down in Legal the other day, and things got ugly. One of the lawyers accused a paralegal of cheating, and knives were drawn. After some quick cutting, we were down one lawyer.

It was as they were stuffing his corpse into a couple garbage bags that I realized that the ministry was soon going to face a problem. After your personality is transplanted into one of our cybernetic bodies, what will become of your mortal coil? We here at the Ministry continually strive to prepare the Flock for the future, but we failed to take this into account. We have to do something with all those bodies...

I kicked this around with the lawyers a bit. We talked about various possibilities -cadaver sculpture, selling bones to billiard ball companies, soylent green - but discarded each for liability and/or PR reasons.

Eventually we came to the conclusion that members of the Flock want to experience everything life has to offer. They want to have it all, drink it deep, and push it to the extreme - and physical death, decay, and even funerals are a part of that vast panorama (I think some guys from Advertising must have been there too). We made some calls, and it turns out that funerals are big business, so naturally the Ministry wants to be there when your bereaved whips out the Visa.

The conversation kind of broke down at this point... some of us were pretty hammered by then, and before I knew it I was drinking mezcal off a stripper's boobs in Guadalajara, betting on a cock fight. Hell of a weekend. The tattoo removal alone is going to cost me thousands - but I digress. We did come up with a way to help the Flock prepare for their physical passing...

Behold - the tombstone generator. I whipped up this little beauty for myself:

Ok, so it's still a work in progress, but it's a start. Show us what you want on your tombstone - because you never know when you might want your friends to know that sort of thing. Your next mahjong game could turn fatal too...


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