Blog Between the Lines

Through diligent reading of Blogs and (ick) Live Journals, I have learned how to see the subtext in a post - the unspoken admissions and carefully worded landmines that are present in the posts of all hardcore bloggers.

In the example below, I've added the subtext for you...

Don't you hate it when this happens? (Dear gods, I hope I'm not alone in this...) You're at work, minding your own business, (You're at work, surfing for pr0n as usual) when you get an IM, despite setting your status to busy. (I set my status to busy but my close friends know that it's ok to interrupt me - and every single one of the 45 people on my contact list is a "close" friend) Reluctantly you click on it (You click on it immediately, hoping your friend has found better pr0n than you have) and find something like this... (you figured it was something involving shaved genitalia and a large vegetable, but this will do) and the rest of the afternoon is shot. (Finally! Something to do) You HAVE to play with it. (She is close to naked and you are pathetic) She lands in these hilarious positions, (positions that remind you of the hot, wild girls you dream about but will never EVER fucking meet, much less actually get naked with) and when she gets stuck, you can grab her ankle or wrist and give her a pull to keep her going. (Hey... that's kind of hot. It's like you're touching her...) Soon it is 5:00 (about fucking time - now you can go home and surf for pr0n openly) and you haven't done half of what you were supposed to do today. (you hate this job and hope they read your blog and fire you) Don't you hate that? (I'm so lonely...)

I think we can all see from this excerpt that knowing the subtext of a blog post can give us a deeper understanding of not only the poster, but also the genre. I figure there's a grant out there somewhere for this work...