Confessional

I've noticed that attendance at confession is way down lately. I think it has to do with that nasty rumor that's been going around about me being an informant for Santa - you know, that I tell him who among the Flock has been naughty and who's been really naughty and who's been really damn naughty...

Well, I want to set the record straight right now; Nick and I are just friends, with no professional connections. Anything you may have heard about VIP parties at the Workshop or nude hot tubbing with the elves is all nonsense. We really only see each other at big events, you know, red carpet stuff. There's hardly ever anytime to really sit down and talk shop, so you've no reason to worry that your dirty little secrets will leak from the confessional booth to the North Pole.


One of the many confessional booths in
the Ministry's headquarters, built to
the Dark Pontiff's specifications.
This one has a wet bar and satellite TV!

If, however, you still feel that you cannot trust your beloved Reverend with your confessions, the Ministry refers you to this service. There you can bare your soul in total anonymity, and be absolved in the vast unsleeping eyes of the internet. It's Pope Tested, Ministry Approved!