Distraught over Ohio's provisional ballots, Petey takes his own life. (Click picture to enlarge)

Election Overview

I've been doing a lot of blog surfing these past two days. The following is a summary of what I found out there in the blogiverse...

Rant rant rant Dubya! Bitch rant moan, rant rant Right Wing rant piss moan. Selfish, greedy rant rant corporate interests bitch rant, lying sack of shit gripe rant weapons of mass destruction!! Piss moan bitch rant Haliburton, bitch bitch War on Terror rant rant deficit. Fucking rant rant Imperialist moan bitch stem cell research, and rant bitch moan Supreme Court bitch bitch rant reproductive rights rant rant fucking conservatives rant bitch moan same sex unions. Rant rant fucking mandate my ass bitch piss rant...

It goes on like this for a few more pages, but you get the gist. The general consensus is...

I know what you're thinking; "As a faithful member of the Flock, what should I know about the Black Pope's position on this issue?"

Glad you asked.

After all-night meetings at the Black Vatican with his Press Secretary, the Department of Spinnuendo, representatives of the Inquisition, and numerous infernal "consultants", a spokesman for the office of His Sinfulness has issued the following statement:

The Flock may make their displeasure known in any number of ways, but the Godpope is partial to placing a small, burning bag of dogshit on the steps of the Whitehouse, ringing the doorbell, then hiding in the bushes. "Sometimes traditional means are the best," the Black Pontiff told reporters at his daily press briefing this morning.

Sources close to the Godpope, however, hint that he might have other tactics in mind as well. Early this evening a rumor emerged regarding the Black Pope's plan to give one of the President's twin daughters a "special blessing." An anonymous Black Vatican staffer quoted the Dark Primate as saying, "The hot one - her name is Barbara, right? Ok, get her on the phone, and stock the Popemobile with condoms and a case of Lone Star - I have a date tonight."


Post a Comment