Hello? Oh, hi Mom.

No Mom, I'm not gay.

Calm down.

No, I'm not a transvestite.

Mom, it's a kilt...

Mom, we ARE Celts...

I don't really care what Mrs. Conklin thinks...

Mom, it's not a sin to wear...

Well, Father Tim is wrong.

Jesus didn't wear pants...

I'm not blaspheming anything...

But I didn't wear any underwear before this...

But...

Yeah, but...

O.K., gotta' go Mom.

Yeah.

O.K.

Yes, Mother.

O.K.

Mom, I gotta' go.

Yeah.

Love you too. Bye.