Adductor Longus



Eventually, everyone writes a check that their body just can't cash...

Do you know where your adductor longus is? Its origin is the anterior surface of the body of the pubis, just lateral to the pubic symphysis, and its insertion is on the middle third of the linea aspera, between the more medial adductor magnus and brevis insertions, and the more lateral origin of the vastus medialis.

In other words, it's in your inner thigh. I discovered mine only just recently, when it tried to tear itself free and leap from my body during a particularly spirited game of handball doubles. Most unpleasant, that.

Due to my usual hyper-competitiveness and the power of my boundless rage, I decided to continue playing despite the injury... for another 90 minutes. Though not as stupid as the time I went to the Estrella War with a torn calf muscle, it does rank in my top twenty-five list of personal asshattery. Maybe number seventeen - just ahead of the night I tried to drink Mezcal in Baja with the locals, and just behind the the time I went skateboarding on dirt without helmet, pads, or even a shirt (incidentally, we didn't have dirtboards back then...).

I am out of action for the nonce, but fear not - I am on a strict regimen of ibuprofen, amaretto sours, and whining - I will soon be back on the court. Until then, be on the look-out for a very angry, hobbling and cursing sable pontiff, and steer clear - I am particularly irritated by the able-bodied right now. If trapped in my path, it's best to affect a limp until I have passed...

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does recovering from a cold count as an injury? Rest up, Oh Dark One. For when you are healed I shall commence with the whooping of your ass on the courts. Oh yes...you have been called out. And I'll even be nice and forego the tacky yet obligatory offer to rub your thigh...er...injury. ;)

Sirus Kane said...

No... seriously... I am going to need my "Doctor House" cane again, just because of asking how he was feeling... beware the pontiff... his rage is terrible!

His Sinfulness said...

You will both feel my wrath. Not right now, but soon...

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm, amaretto sours!

Well, I will not take the opportunity to say, "I told you stretching was a good idea." Nope, not going to take the opportunity.

Oh shit! I have some rage coming my way! LOL!

Rest up Reverend! I shall await my worthy opponents triumphant return to the battlefield...ahem...court.

His Sinfulness said...

I seriously doubt stretching would have made any difference, but I'm soooo going to kick your ass for suggesting it...

Levi said...

haha, this comments section is like a bunch of kids found a wounded bear in the woods and are poking it with a stick!

Benny said...

So that's what the "Doctor House" cane was for. ;-)

It seems as though you could used a package with mineral ice... and mouthwash without alcohol.

Hope you feel well soon.

Raksha said...

Yeah, rest up, sweetie. You only have a few weeks until your fuck muscles need to be in tip top shape!

Anonymous said...

That's hot!

His Sinfulness said...

Thanks, Pumpkin. I'll try to get some rest...

She's a delicate flower, isn't she folks?

Eoin said...

owned

Anonymous said...

o_O

Dr. Smith said...

you must teach me both this game and this bountiful rage

His Sinfulness said...

I am healing slowly - I played one day this week...

Dr. Smith,
Handball is one of the finest of all human competitions! It is elegant in its simplicity, brutal in its exposure of your weaknesses, and something akin to slowly beating your friends to death without actually touching them. You will definitely be invited to play after the holidays.
As for the rage, well, that takes years of slow-burning anger to develop. I have filled that well with 16 years of Republican rule...

Post a Comment