Tennis

Yeah, if only it looked like that when we play...

Flynn and I hit the tennis courts this past weekend, and I assure you there were no 200+mph serves or diving forehands. Thankfully, we both left our skin-tight bodysuits at home as well (nobody wants to see that).

As I recall it, I was 10 the last time I set foot on a tennis court, and I got destroyed by a girl in straight sets. This weekend was like a 33 year trip back in time...

The girl in question, Maggie (of Magball fame), is a bonafide tennis player from way back, and she was very kind to us. She was understanding of our lack of control, and she patiently hit gentle forehands to us for about 90 minutes. She is actually attending a tennis clinic this week - I hope she meets some nice people to play with so she doesn't have to suffer all summer with just us as opponents.

Turns out that successfully playing badminton, squash, and racquetball has absolutely nothing to do with playing tennis. My first attempt at a proper forehand went over the 12 foot fence behind my opponent, and my first backhand ended up on the court to our left (the father and daughter playing there were very nice about kicking our balls back to us...). Flynn was nearly as pathetic, and overall we stunk up the place.

It's kind of odd for me - I am not the fittest person in the world, but I am almost unnaturally coordinated. I acquired skills like juggling and riding a unicycle very rapidly, and most racquet sports come to me quite easily, but tennis makes me look like I suffer from some sort of spastic nerve disorder. Naturally, I won't allow my dismal lack of demonstrated aptitude for this game deter me - after all, if you let one (or many) bad experience(s) stop you from trying something again you'd have to give up and be celibate. Am I right, ladies?

No, I will keep on playing once a week for the summer if I can find patient opponents who will tolerate my flailing. Regardless of how badly I play, it is still an opportunity to absorb vitamin D, a nutrient that we residents of Black Vatican City (the Siberia of the Americas) are known to lack. It is also an opportunity for the ladies of the Flock to wear tennis dresses. Just putting that out there.