It's 3:25 AM, and I am still awake.
I have to work at 7:30, but that fact has yet to convince my brain to shut off.
Everyone I love is far away. Some are overseas, and all are in places that are far less safe than I'd like. I can do nothing to protect or aid or save them should something go wrong. I can only watch through the lens of technology - Skype, chat, cell phones - and I figure they're sheltering me from some of the truth of their experiences. I imagine that they're not telling me about all the sketchy places and people they are encountering, because they love me and don't want me to worry. That they're protecting me is an irritant in itself, but it's the helplessness I really abhor.
To be honest, the discomfort I feel is not horrible, not a searing pain. I'd describe it as "pesky" really; a pebble-in-your-shoe kind of feeling. Not like the 'daggers in the heart' of which the emo kids are so fond. It's more like a spork... in the kidney.
There is nothing to do about it. I just have to wait it out.
I Am Pierced by Drive-Thru Cutlery...
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8 comments:
It's true--we do leave out the worst parts for the sake of the ones we love the most. You may hear some of the tales later on, once they've become funny, but never during. I'm sorry you're feeling that pesky feeling--it must be quite frustrating. Go get some annoyance out by beating someone up at MMA, perhaps? Or a rousing game of...the wii? No really, I hear ya. It sucks. But be thankful you HAVE all that technology, and especially the internet always so readily available to you.
I have been committing acts of mass destruction on the Wii today (playing Madworld), and that does serve to distract me a bit. Thanks for your concern. :)
The worst thing that happened to me was when I foolishly stopped to talk to the truck driver, who took my hand and kissed it and wouldn't let go. I pulled it free, said "Ma salaama" and walked away. There you go. Worst thing that's happened...unless you count the cab rides.
(sigh)... that doesn't really help... but thanks for trying. :)
Madworld was a damn good time. It was rather short in the game play department, but the commentary alone makes it worth playing all over again. The wanton destruction and mayhem is enjoyable as well.
Cerus,
I particularly love sticking goons head-first into flaming trashcans. Good times.
I usually try to find two or three street signs to run them through with first and then toss them into the fire can.
*hugs* Sorry your situation sucks at the moment. I know helplessness is never fun. If it makes you feel any better, you don't really have to worry about me because I almost never leave my house. Although, come to think of it, they say most accidents occurr in the home. So. Um....
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