Questions of Faith, Part XII

For this 12th edition in the Questions of Fatih series, Flynn brings us a newer faith, the path of Googlism.

12 questions, eh? Okay, I feel like being snarky...

1) What faith do you espouse?
Googlism

2) Who was the founder of your faith? When did he/she live?
Sergey Brin and Larry Page (They are alive today.)

3) What are the sacred texts of your faith?
What, you want a copy? Okay, click here.


4) What is the central teaching of your faith?
We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.

5) How does your faith define sin? What are the major sins, and how is one absolved?
MSN Desktop Search... and the uninstall button.

6) Roughly how many adherents does your faith have?
584. We like statistics.

7) What does your faith teach about the afterlife? Is there heaven, and how do you get there?
The afterlife is the sea of electrons that will, through faithful uploading and blogging, carry our thoughts and personalities - our essence - through the world forever in the holy cache.

8) What are the practices of your faith? (Daily, weekly, etc.)
Google is timeless, and our temples are found everywhere the warm glow of a computer screen can be seen...


9) How is your faith organized? Are there priests and bishops and
archbishops (oh my!)?
There are administrators, who divine the information of the server directly. Then there are Beta Testers, who carefully transverse the scriptures and procedures of church. Finally we have users, those with google accounts, who heed the word- even if they are unaware of the divine nature of that with they surround surround themselves.

10) Are there regular services available to you locally? If so, where?
Yes. Now, later, whenever. Google is a laxidasical God.

11) How did you come to be a believer?
Gmail.

12) What do you wish others knew about your faith?
The many benefits of active patronage:
Google Labs and Google Options

So, now that I'm done being an ass, I'll reply more seriously soon.