News from FlockHall 2.0

- We are in the testing phases of a new defense system for the grounds of FlockHall 2.0, the headquarters of the local Flock and the location of the Papal Apartments. Our newest plan, "Project Hell Hound" is looking very promising; more details here.

- In other news, Flynn did his first kettlebell workout last night, and he made a fine showing. Of course, when it was over, he was just as wrecked as everyone else who has touched Eunice (Yes, I named her. Don't judge me.) and he sat at his desk and shook for 10 minutes or so, as is now tradition. I worked with Eunice twice today, so the fact that I can type at all is a bit of a miracle. But I am become strong like bull, da?

- I am entering week 8 of the Couch to 5K program tomorrow. It is only a 9 week program, so I am wondering what to do when it is over. I have heard of a program called "One Hour Runner" which works you up to one hour of continuous running. That would head me in the direction of a 10K race, perhaps in the Fall. After that, I'm looking at a half-marathon in March of 2009, then the Denver Marathon in October '09. I'm also considering doing the Disney World marathon in January of 2010. This race is so popular that the 2009 event is already 65% sold out... 7 months in advance. Anyone out there know of a race in your area that the Black Pope should run in? Post a comment or send me an email about it and you might be the lucky recipient of a Papal visit! (If you'd call that luck...)

- My stats class is really crappy. I know, that's not exactly "news" but I just feel better saying it. The hard part is that the instructor is the nicest little Muslim woman I have ever met. She is so very pleasant and cheery as she corrects my retarded attempts at t-tests, binomial probabilities, and the other densities of statistical analysis. She is so nice that I feel extra dumb when I don't do well. Ah, guilt, my old friend... my grandmother would be proud of the strangle hold you have on me.

- I rode the WOB for the first time in quite a while today. I've been walking almost exclusively of late, because I wanted to get as much conditioning for my legs as possible, but I took too long for lunch today and I was doomed to be late for work unless a vehicle was used. It felt good to ride her again, and I was also surprised by how much stronger my legs truly are now. The small hill that leads up from the street onto the back side of campus is hardly noticeable now, and I made it to the computer lab in record time. It is perhaps possible that I am slowly - ever so slowly - becoming fit again.

- A final note - the weather is fucking ridiculous here. We had lows of 30-35 degrees last night. It was barely 45 yesterday at noon, with a 40+mph wind and high humidity so it felt like 25 degrees. It's June. JUNE; and it snowed a little bit yesterday morning.

16kg of Badass

I know my way around a weight room. I know all the basic moves with free weights, and I have been coached enough over the years that I have a very good grasp of what proper form looks like. At one time, I was one of those guys you see in the gym spotting each other, covered in chalk, clapping and yelling "You're looking huge man! Push it! No time for pussin' out now - two more!" (Yeah, I know - everyone hates those guys. I got better eventually...)

So, I don't fear the weights. I roughly know what I can lift in any given exercise, and I know that for most basic exercises 35 pounds is not that much for me.

That was until I met the 16kg kettlebell.

I did my first kettlebell workout today. It was a routine I found on the net - 20 minutes worth of one-armed swings, cleans, jerks, presses, and snatches, all done in a rhythmic way intended to increase core strength and burn fat.

There's no way to put a tough guy spin on this - it kicked my ass. Worse than any of the running I've done lately; worse than any game of handball, or any badminton match. When it was over, my arms were rubbery, and my hands shook for 10 minutes from the exertion. My arms were so burned out and floppy that when I tried to wipe the sweat from my brow, I poked myself in the eye with my thumb. Even now, several hours later, I feel like a wrung out dishrag and I'm having a hard time making my fingers hit the right keys.

The difference is the way the kettlebell is designed and used. The handle is not set in the middle of the weight (like a barbell) so it allows you to swing the kettlebell through an arc and greatly multiply its resistance. This "dynamic loading" allows you to get a lot of benefit from a relatively small amount of weight, and lessens the chance of injury that heavier lifting incurs.

It's easier to see it than to explain it - YouTube to the rescue. I selected this video from the almost 4000 entries you get when you type "kettlebells" into the YouTube search window because it is short, yet gives you a good idea of what the exercises are like.

So, I'll be adding kettlebell to my weekly workout schedule. I'm shooting for 3-4 times per week, but I need to see how sore I am tomorrow; it may take more than one day of rest to recover from this...

For the Good Doktor...

...who asked what size kettlebell he should buy. As always, YouTube has the answer!

Sounds like maybe a 20 or 24 kilo kettlebell would be the ticket to start with.