Upset!

-Black Vatican City, July 16
In a stunning upset, the Ball Dodgers (AKA "Rules Nazis"), won their first game this evening. Their opponents, the aptly named "Sitting Ducks" were 2-2 coming into the match, and seemingly had no idea what was in store for them. Playing without their manager/coach Troy Scott, and anchor dodger, Maggie Scott, it looked like the 0-4 Dodgers would have a rough time of it, but clutch performances from interim captain Britt "the Squid" Standage and Brendon "Vanilla Fresh" Orr, along with a great walk-on performance from newly acquired free agent "Big Gay" Jim Osborn, helped the underdogs squeak out a victory against the stunned Ducks.

The Dodgers took a more defensive strategy, following the lead of injured thrower, Linus "the Gimp" Furious. "We just started working the back line, and let them throw themselves out" said Furious after the game, with his destroyed elbow in a bucket of ice and Coronas with lime. This defensive strategy paid off, as all of the Dodgers had catches, a first in team history.

The Dodgers have a well-timed bye next week, hopefully allowing them to field a healthy team as they square off against Cinci D's on July 30th. Cinci D's is heavily favored to win.

Prepare To Be Amazed

Those who know me personally are well aware that I am exceedingly picky about my movie watching. The list of films I have walked out of with no complaints is tiny. Off-hand, I can only think of three in recent years; The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Even with them, I was irritated that they left out Tom Bombadil.

If you plan on making a movie based on a book I have read or a historical event I know about, you have to get it right. If you bastardize, molest, fold, spindle, or mutilate the original, you will earn my ire. Gods help you if you ignore the original (don't think I have forgotten you Alex Proyas and Jeff Vintar - I, Robot was fucking unforgivable!). The list of films that failed me in this way is long, and I can still spit venom about features from years ago that raised my hackles; don't even get me started on Arthur, or the first X-Men movie, or the Hulk, or Judge Dredd...

I also have a huge, throbbing hate-on for summer blockbusters. If it is over-hyped for a summer release, it begins with two strikes against it.

All of the foregoing makes what I am about to say all the more shocking:

GO SEE THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE!

For once, Vanilla Fresh is right about a movie. It rocks - period. Go see it. Go now.