...in a Handbasket

Over on her blog, WNG has posted a link to a story about a pastor who lost his congregation by preaching that no one goes to hell. Naturally, I leapt to respond - my calling as an internet spiritual leader does have its responsibilities. Unfortunately, my pontificating quickly filled up WNG's comment box (please, no comments about filling WNG's box...) so I decided to turn it into an actual post.

When I was taking religion classes as an undergrad, they encouraged us to adopt a "religious studies persona." An alternate, completely neutral personality, through which we could examine religions other than our own, without the interference of our own beliefs and convictions. As you might guess, this was quite difficult, but with effort I was able to develop some detachment over the course of a few semesters worth of classes. Eventually I was able to read about the tenets and rituals of religions that I found at best, illogical, and at worst, outright harmful to the sanity of the practitioner, with a dispassionate eye. I took in the information and digested it without making value judgments on it, then stored it in neat packets in my head for easy retrieval during testing. Despite this concerted attempt to be neutral and even-handed in my treatment of all religious concepts, I was, and still am, baffled by anyone who believes in the concept of hell in the Christian faiths.

The position of the Abrahamic faiths on the existence of this fiery realm is not unique - many religions share this belief - but their insistence on it being an eternal condition is fairly uncommon. Most religions envision a way out for the transgressor after having served a certain period of time - I call it the "hockey paradigm." In these faiths, this place of punishment serves as a "penalty box" of sorts, giving those who have failed to behave properly in this life a chance to learn from their mistakes.

To the majority of Christians (that is, the primary denominations), however, this life is a one-shot proposition. You have only one lifetime in which to get this right, and failure leads to an eternity of torment. These folks hold to what I like to call the "skydiving" paradigm - "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

Now, consider for a moment the two paradigms. Which is more compassionate, hockey or skydiving? It seems clear to me that hockey is far more gentle than skydiving, as it allows a person to grow from their mistakes. Nevertheless, most Christians not only hold to the skydiving paradigm, but insist that their god is loving, benevolent, and compassionate. Throw in the idea that he is all-knowing as well, and you have a real logical dilemma. Observe:

If god is truly omniscient, then he must know where you will end up after death. He knows the good and bad choices you will make, and how your soul will be weighed when the end has come. In fact, he must know all of this before you are even born, in order for him to be truly omniscient. So, in my case, long before my grandparents were even born, god knew that I would come along and fail to believe. He knew that I would question, and find lacking, the Christian faith, thus ending up in an eternity of torture. w00t for me.

So the question becomes, why did he make me? If he knows that he is creating me just so I can live an all too brief life of confusion and suffering here on earth and then go to the fiery pit for eternity, why would he do that? If he were truly compassionate, why wouldn't he simply NOT create me, or anyone else who would fail to believe?

This is just the tip of the iceberg here, but I'm sure you can see the problem. Belief in an eternal hell leads to some difficult rationalizations about god that most Christians aren't really prepared to make. The pastor referenced above who preached that there is no hell knew this to be true, and it cost him his congregation - and let's not beat around the bush here; what it really cost him was his livelihood. His church was a huge one (6000 members on a Sunday!) and his lifestyle was certainly a fairly plush one because of it. Some fundies might claim that he is being punished by god for heresy, but I think he should be applauded for refusing to kowtow to doctrine which he couldn't reconcile. He may only have a congregation of 300 now, but at least those 300 are hearing a message that has some kind of internal logical consistency.

I sincerely believe that the modern Christian concept of hell has been perpetuated as a means of social control. It is believed to be a deterrent to deviant behavior - but that is another topic, requiring me to remove my papal mitre and put on my, um... sociologist's sombrero. Maybe some other time, if you are interested...

Guidelines

My 500th post has come and gone.

This is actually post number 508; who knew the Ministry would grow from its humble beginnings as a topless lemonade stand into the global juggernaut of sin and damnation it has become? As I look out over our Hunter S. Thompson style walled compound, I am reminded of the early days. Back then, there were no comics, no limos, no lunches with the Dalai Lama, no hot and cold running BCPs - just a man with a dark vision and a small community of believers. Things were simpler then. Take for example, the sidebar.

The sidebar was once a family affair. I could walk to the house of every blogger listed on it in about 15 minutes. If they fell behind in posting, I could call them and ask if everything was ok before making them a "sinner." Now, the sidebar is a nationwide thing, and although I love the new members of the Flock, I am not in personal contact with them all. In order to keep things fair and equitable, I have to, as I hinted elsewhere, institute some new guidelines for maintaining your Redeemed status.

Minimum Requirements to Acheive Redemption
- A post that makes HSBP smile.

Minimum Requirements to Maintain Redmption
- One post per week.

These new guidelines go into effect over the weekend, and compliance will be checked each weekend from now on. If you're going on vacation or you have some personal emergency, let me know, and your status can be held for you. If, however, you failed to post because you had to take your rare hairless guinea pig to the to the hairless guinea pig specialist in lower Kamchatka, I don't want to hear it. You could have done a fabulous travel blog - what do you think laptops and cell phones are for?