Charitable Gifts

I promised a post about making donations as gifts almost two weeks ago. Then the final push of the semester ate my life and I never got around to putting it up. My prospectus was turned in Friday, and I've been sleeping and playing video games ever since - I think I've finally recovered enough to get back to some semblance of brain activity.

In addition to the list of Pope Tested, Ministry Approved gifts found here, the Pontifex Niger also endorses the making of charitable donations in his name. Make a donation to any of the worthy organizations below and you will receive a minor beatification and a 10% discount on indulgences purchased before January 15th! You all have the power to make these "holy days" instead of "hollow daze." Go forth and donate!

The plight of great apes in captivity is a topic I have been interested in for a few years now. The Center for Great Apes is a sanctuary that takes in orangutans and chimpanzees and gives them a permanent home. Most of these apes come from the entertainment industry or from research, but there are a few who were raised as pets. A donation to the Center provides them with food, shelter, an enriching environment, and the company of their own species. For more on great apes in captivity and their legal rights, check out GRASP.

Farm Sanctuary provides a home and an adoption service for farm animals. The residents include chickens, ducks, pigs, cows, goats, and other animals rescued from terrible situations. The animals there often come from conditions of horrible and inhumane treatment, torture, and slaughter - there is even one goat there who was headed for a ritual sacrifice! (By the way, if your god still calls for blood offerings FUCK HIM! Believe what you like, but leave innocent animals out of your insanity, ok?)

Another fine adoption agency is the Rocky Mountain Aviculture Society. They are based in Denver, and I'm proud to be a member. They take in abandoned and surrendered parrots, housing, feeding, and providing veterinary care for them until a new home can be found. They can always use a few more dollars, and be honest - couldn't your karma use the cleansing? I know mine could.

If none of the suggestions above lights your fuse you can go to the No-Kill Network and find a no-kill animal shelter near you and donate to them. These shelters take in abandoned pets of all types and provide them with housing and care until a home can be found for them - or for the rest of their lives if necessary. Animals that don't end up at no-kill shelters end up at the other kind of shelter, which is not so much a shelter as it is pet DEATH ROW. Make a donation so no animal has to go there. Better yet, adopt an animal from a no-kill shelter. If that seems more like a gift for yourself than a gift for me, you can just name the pet after me. I love the idea of everyone having a puppy that reminds them of me! I can just imagine it on Christmas morning...

"God damnit!"
"What's wrong?"
"His Sinfulness shit on the floor again!"

That's EXACTLY what Christmas morning sounds like at Flock Hall.