A Sad Tale...

An actual conversation that took place by IM yesterday. Click on the link first to see what caused it all...

His Sinfulness: check this out - Free Rice

Nerdygirl: Okay, that's awesome. And addicting.

His Sinfulness: I can't stop. I've donated 2320 grains of rice.

Nerdygirl: Awesome! What's your vocab level?

His Sinfulness: Vocab level = 49. Help. I can't stop. Stop me, before I define again.

Nerdygirl: But you're defining for a good cause... I've donated 400 grains. It'll be a good way to work on my vocab, I'm only at 38.

His Sinfulness: Oh, it's all fun and games for you, isn't it? But for me, this is a test of who I am! It's there, mocking me, saying "Ok, smart guy, do you know what fistula means? Hmm, do you? How about abrogate? or disconsolate?"

Nerdygirl:[shaking head] And here I thought we made so much progress in distancing your self worth from your vocabulary. Are you backsliding?

His Sinfulness:
My name is Linus. And I'm a Vocabulaholic.

Nerdygirl:[snork] Hi Linus.

His Sinfulness: You're never cured, you know? It's just one day at a time, Lord.

Nerdygirl: Damnit, this means I'm your sponsor, doesn't it?

His Sinfulness: Would "lexicographer" have been better there? You know I'm very serious about my perspicacity...

Nerdygirl: Put the ten dollar words down, Linus. Put them down, and walk away.

His Sinfulness: Possibly "jargonophile"? Vocab Level = 50!

Nerdygirl: Jargonophile makes it sound like you have sex with Mason jars.

His Sinfulness: Fuck! I'm back to step three. It might have gone better if I hadn't chosen Samuel Johnson as my "higher power"...

Nerdygirl: yeah, that might have been a mistake...

His Sinfulness: Possibly even a peccadillo. AAGH! I'm on a bender! I'm binging on vocab! I'm going to end up passed out in the reference section of the library again, amid a pile of dictionaries and thesauri!

Nerdygirl: [sigh] At least let me know which library you'll be attending...

His Sinfulness: [defiant] I might just hit them ALL!

Nerdygirl: Last time I thought you'd be at Coe, and ended up running through six floors while you were face down in the children's section of the public library.
NO! YOU WILL LIMIT YOUR BINGES.

His Sinfulness: Hah! You're not my spelling teacher! I'll do as I please! I might even use e before i... regardless of the placement of c!

Nerdygirl: [sigh] You would bring shame to the Flock?

His Sinfulness: The Flock won't even notice... half of them can't spell anyway.

Nerdygirl: That shame which cannot be removed, regardless of how many times one backspaces or whiteouts?

His Sinfulness: AAAGGHH!! Must... re-edit... every... blog... post....
only 590 or so... should be done by monday... then I can start checking the comic site over...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "caracal" isn't listed?! Fucking cheap online dictionary! I need a real dictionary... the good stuff... there is a compact version of the OED in the Matthison reading room... I think my magnifier is still in my backpack...

Luckily, his Sinfulness was found by his handlers about four hours later. They were alerted to his whereabouts by concerned Barnes and Noble staff, who found him crumpled in a heap on the floor, sobbing in front of a display of Jeff Foxworthy's latest book, "Learning to Talk More Gooder Fastly." Mr. Foxworthy could not be reached for comment.