The early morning has become largely foreign to me, but it was not always this way. I've had several jobs that required me to be up and functional at ungodly hours - one job that I had for several years required me to be on site, ready to lift heavy things at 6:00AM. During another period of my life, I lived just a few blocks from a Zendo and I would attend meditation at 7:00AM each morning. The last few months of student life, however, have turned me back into a bat. I have grown accustomed to calling 9:30AM "early," and going to bed before 1:00AM seems quaint. I had convinced myself that I did my best work after dark, and I would seldom even start to work until everyone else in the house was in bed.
The net result of this has been one of the least productive times I can recall. For the last month, my bedtimes got later and later until I was a true vampire, falling into bed as the sun came up, and waking in the early afternoon. I became sluggish and grumpy, and I never felt like I had slept enough. Worse yet, I was doing very little of my summer reading, not getting much done around the house, working out sporadically, and writing nothing. Depression was setting in.
When I finally faced up to this situation, the solution was obvious. I must get to bed early, and rise at a decent hour. Unfortunately, I was trapped in a vicious cycle - if I don't get enough exercise I don't sleep soundly, and if I don't sleep soundly I have very little desire to exercise. On the day I finally decided to fix my problem, I had gone to bed at about 5:00am, then gotten up at noon to keep an appointment. I decided that instead of going to bed at 5 or 6 the next morning, I would force myself to stay awake until the following evening and then turn in at a more normal bedtime.
I made it to about 4:00PM the next day - about 28 hours of consciousness - when a headache forced me into bed for a nap. I set my alarm for about three hours, then I got up and had a light supper. I went back to bed around 8:30PM and I woke up naturally at 5:30AM.
That day was amazing. It was like I had finally emerged from a lengthy illness. I felt more energetic, I finally made progress on several projects around the house, and I got in a great workout before 8:30AM. This trend has continued for the last few days; I've been in bed at quite reasonable hours each night, and I've woken up without an alarm between 6:00 and 8:00 each morning.
I know what you are wondering - "Is the Black Pope turning into a morning person?" I, too, was concerned with this development; it's hard to maintain your sinful street cred when you are going to bed at 10:00 every night. I finally had to face a difficult truth that I have only glanced at in my darkest hours... the Black Pope may be dead.
Yes children, the Pontifex Niger may have to hang up his cassock. I am no longer the creature of the night I was when this persona was born. Although I still abhor organized (i.e. "stupid") religion as much as ever, I am much more interested in steering folks away from it by pointing out its illogical positions than by personally tempting them into sinful behaviors. In short, it is much more satisfying to create skeptics than degenerates - and less labor-intensive, too.
I suppose that some of the Faithful may find this new, less vitamin D-deprived Linus a bit of a disappointment, but the trend has been there for a while now. More exercise, veganism, no alcohol, no drugs - hell, I've even begun to occasionally enjoy wearing colors other than black(!). If you think about it, the most extreme of my evil personae, Darth Furious, has hardly reared his head at all in the last few years. My rehabilitation from Sith Lord to Grey Knight may be almost complete (you're never really cured, you know? One day at a time, Lord, one day at a time...).
Daywalker
Revenge of the Fallen
Ok, I admit I just went to see Megan Fox, but it was surprisingly good. Just like the first Transformers flick, this one is filled with explosions, and robot fu, and lots of military personnel and equipment getting jacked up - and that's just the first 10 minutes! As much I want to HATE Michael Bay (he is responsible for Pearl Harbor and both of the Bad Boys movies), I have to say that he got this one right. He seems to really understand how the whole giant robot/teenage boy/hot girlfriend/special forces/crazy parents/misguided bureaucrat thing goes together. This one has a bit more rough language than the first one, and a bit more skin. Perhaps the third one should be rated R, and there could be a Decepticon hiding in the shower with Ms. Fox (a boy can dream, right?).
There are no surprises in this film - it steals liberally from Star Wars, Terminator, the Matrix, Fifth Element, Stargate, and even a little bit from Species - but it's still quite entertaining. You could do worse with your summer movie dollar. Also, if you are a Bumblebee fan, he is certifiably bad-ass in this one.
A Poll on the Polling
Another of our polls has closed, and unlike the ones in Iran, we actually counted the votes!
We asked:
What should the U.S. do about the situation in Iran?
The Flock hasn't been so united since the Intelligent Design poll. Seems nobody wants to touch this one - could it be because most feel we already have our fingers in the Middle Eastern pie too much?
The responses:
Nothing - it's their affair. 89%
Apply political pressure to get a recount/repoll. 11%
(We offered other possible answers, including the option of going all Hiroshima on them, but no one selected them.)
I am torn on this one. On the one hand, we wouldn't want some foreign power to come over here and back some political faction - say, for instance, the Teabaggers. In fact, I'm relatively certain that we would go ape-shit crazy if that happened, and the violence in the streets would be epic. On the other hand, the current Iranian regime does seem to have stolen an election from the people. We certainly know how much that sucks, now don't we?
If I were president, I don't know what I would do. I hope the president has based his decision to stay out of it on a great deal more information than that to which we are privy. I also hope that information is better than the intelligence his predecessor was working with (or making up).
I'm not known for my optimistic stance where global politics is concerned, so I don't know where I'm getting all of this hope. It sounds a bit hollow, even to me...
I Am Pierced by Drive-Thru Cutlery...
It's 3:25 AM, and I am still awake.
I have to work at 7:30, but that fact has yet to convince my brain to shut off.
Everyone I love is far away. Some are overseas, and all are in places that are far less safe than I'd like. I can do nothing to protect or aid or save them should something go wrong. I can only watch through the lens of technology - Skype, chat, cell phones - and I figure they're sheltering me from some of the truth of their experiences. I imagine that they're not telling me about all the sketchy places and people they are encountering, because they love me and don't want me to worry. That they're protecting me is an irritant in itself, but it's the helplessness I really abhor.
To be honest, the discomfort I feel is not horrible, not a searing pain. I'd describe it as "pesky" really; a pebble-in-your-shoe kind of feeling. Not like the 'daggers in the heart' of which the emo kids are so fond. It's more like a spork... in the kidney.
There is nothing to do about it. I just have to wait it out.
Balls of Steel
If this is not photo shopped, that woman is my hero. If it's a fake, the photo shopper is my hero. Just in case you've been under a rock for the last few years, the guy she is flipping off is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the pretend president of Iran.
I hope she's not dead now.
(If you haven't voted in the poll yet, now would be a good time to do so.)
UPDATE: Unfortunately, this photo is a fake. The undoctored version can be found here.
We Are Devolving Into Giant Slugs
We have become so sedentary that even our pets need treadmills...
Ok - sit on your ass, eat Hot Pockets, and watch reality television all you like, but for fuck's sake, at least play with your pets!
Completely Stolen Content
Thanks to Fleur for sharing this completely awesome list of pseudonyms. Original post here. Naturally, I have filled in my results in italics.
Before some smart-ass thinks they have caught me in an inconsistency ("Do I contradict myself?/Very well then I contradict myself,/I am large, I contain multitudes") and gets all up in my 'bidness' about this - this is NOT a meme. Clearly not. This is simply some light amusement based on my history, family, and food preferences, and not a self-indulgent set of trivial statements about myself, thinly disguised as an attempt to "get to know my friends better." Note that I have called on no one to participate (you may enter your more humorous results in the comments if you wish, but only if you wish - you are in no way "tagged").
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):
Prissy Bradley
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather’s first name):
Cashew Bill
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant)
Regrets Anong
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Tumeric Dublin
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Stumpbug Canton
6. “FLY Boy” ALIAS: (First Initial/First 2 or 3 Letters of your Last Name):
M Cal
7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Coconut Sherry
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Pup Alamitos
9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Peanut Amaretto
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
Robin Crestwood
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy /Last Name Of Favorite musician ):
Skor Bowie
"Cashew Bill" has potential, but my favorite is definitely "Pup Alamitos."
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