Sunday Sermon

Today's sermon isn't really like a sermon - it's more like the announcements that the priest does before the sermon...

-We have a new feature on the right sidebar - it's the "follow this blog" thingy. It would be nice if you clicked it... that way I would know that I'm not always talking to myself. (so. lonely.)

-We have new torture devices at the FlockHall 2.0 Gym. My clubbells have arrived! They are a pair of 15 pounders, and although that may not sound like much, it is quite enough at this stage. Much like a kettlebell, the off-center weight distribution makes these things feel much heavier than they are. The really fun swinging exercises that look like sword practice are actually quite strenuous. Basically, the faster you go, the more they try to pull your arms off...

I got them to strengthen and stretch my shoulders out a bit (I have serious flexibility issues in the upper body) but I am beginning to see that they will yield other benefits as well. They lend themselves to dozens of exercises, and you can use them for strength, endurance, fat burning, flexibility, patching the hole in the ozone layer, and a two state solution in Israel.
Ok, I made that last bit up, but they're like, all good for you, and stuff...

-Also good for you, is meditation. The people at Tricycle Buddhist Review (it's a magazine) think it's so important that they're hosting a meditation event on the internet.

The Big Sit is a 90-day Zen meditation challenge in which each participant vows to meditate for 20 minutes a day on 90 consecutive days, and share their experiences on the Tricycle forum. I'm going to do it, because I try to sit everyday anyway, but I tend to skip it when the week gets hectic. Taking this vow will ensure that I meditate everyday through the end of the semester. If you'd like to join me and the Tricycle community, we are beginning tomorrow, 2/23/09, but you can start anytime you wish. You don't have to commit to 20 minutes - 5 minutes is a good place to start if you've never meditated. If you need instructions on how to sit, click the Big Sit link above.

-Lastly, I want to warn you all about a new candy bar...
It's not the idea of low calorie candy that bothers me, or an ad campaign which is so pink it looks like Barbie puked strawberry Quik on it, or the fact they actually put flakes of mica (yes, the mineral) in it to make it sparkly... it's the fact that the Mars Corporation is actively marketing to young women who already have to contend with media that gives them body image issues - coupling that with chocolate is just unholy.

At this point, I'd ordinarily ridicule this product by writing a parody of their ad copy for dramatic/comedic effect - no need, in this case. The following is actual text from the Official Fling site (please don't click that...).

From the home page:

FLING™ is a sweet, light truffle on a subtle crisp layer enrobed in shimmering chocolate that’s as glamorous as you are. At under 85 calories per finger, it’s slim, but not skinny. Indulgent but not greedy. Naughty but nice.

It's also a way of living. As FLING™ women we are spontaneous - we shimmer! And when it's good? We share it. So let yourself go! Have a FLING™ in private, or wave it all around town; in the office, the bedroom, or the great outdoors.

From the FAQ:

How should I properly care for my FLING™?
Like the women who crave it, FLING needs to be handled with care — try not to ruffle our delicate truffles and keep them in a cool, dry place. Between 65-75 degrees is ideal. Then you can pleasure yourself with this chocolate sensation time and time again.

Are FLING™ Chocolate Fingers gluten-free? And what does that mean anyway?
Yes, chocolate lovers seeking a gluten-free treat can pleasure themselves freely with our seductive options. Gluten is a starch generally found in wheat and wheat-related products, to which some people are sensitive. All FLING™ Chocolate Fingers are 100% gluten-free.

From the Products Menu:

Try it in public
You never know when you will need a FLING™, and at under 85 calories per finger, anytime is the right time. Keep things interesting and try a FLING™ Chocolate Finger in all three flavors – Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, and Hazelnut – a ménage of flavors. Variety is the spice of life, so tear it open and sneak in a quickie.

Maybe it's just me, but seems to be a lot of condescension, reinforcing of stereotypes, and self-pleasuring going on in that ad copy. I don't think that women are that stupid (despite the continued popularity of shite like Sex in the City...), but you never know - stranger things have caught on with the weight-obsessed. How else can you explain the persistence rice cakes?

Go in Peace.